Long time ago since I last wrote something in here.... But who cares right? ;)
I feel I have to write down some stuff right now. So much have happened since the last post.
Daughter is doing fine in school! She loves math and I'm very proud of her, only being 6 years old and doing math on her free time.
I'm still with my Panda boy! I love him very much! But we are still living apart and still standing on the same spot that we begun with. Me living in my place with my daughter, he living over there at his place, I'm visiting him when i get the time.... It's hard!!
I still don't have a job... And it sucks! So tired of this now. I went to school for about 3 months, got an internship where they said I might get to work extra. They never called...
I got a job at a coffee shop and after two days working the boss said I sucked and had to quit! That wh*re... I was doing good, but she had something against me from the start...
Then I got another interview and it went fine! Everything sounded so good. I was supposed to come and try a few days out. But 2 weeks after the interview I got a TEXT, a Saturday night at about 8 in the evening, saying they had lost an important client and couldn't hire me.
And now I'm so tired and hurt from all this I don't even know if I want to work anymore..... Well, I do want to work, but it's hard to get to the point to actually apply, in fear of getting rejected or being told I suck again.
So I was thinking about studying again, this time for real. About four years in college to become a preschool teacher. It will mean lots of loans to pay back later and living in poverty, but that I'm used to now. I thought I didn't want to become a preschool teacher, because of the heavy lifting, the loud environment and the monotone workdays. But when I get to work extra at the preschool and the kids come running screaming my name and giving me hugs, it's totally worth it!
I'm now building up my confidence again and my strength to actually pic up the phone and dial the number to the career counselors before it's too late. And to apply for more jobs. Because right now I'm feeling like I'm in a deep dark hole and can't get out.... Someone please throw me a ladder or a rope to climb!!
Or i might cuddle up in the darkness and only speak with the demons in my head forever on....
What a depressing post! But it's almost Christmas and I will be spending it with the people i love the most, but not all at the same time. The day before Christmas I will go see my grandmother, Christmas will be spent with my mum, her husband, my uncle and of course my lovely daughter! Maybe we will go see my dad in the evening too, and my siblings, and grannie. And the day after we might visit Panda if he got the time.
Tomorrow Daughter and I will go and donate some teddy bears to the sick and poor children in other countries. We have so many and they need them more than we do! And in the same time we will visit my mother at work.
Trying to stay positive!!
Merry X-mas!!
Monday, December 16, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
School anxiety and money!
Wednesday May 15.
My precious daughter had her first induction day at her new school! She was so nervous she had stomach pain, poor thing! :) But it was just an introduction with the teachers and kids and it went super. We spent an hour playing with the kids (My old kindergarten kids!) outside on the yard afterwards. Then we went home, made some snacks and went to the playground. Met a friend and a mother of some kids there and we spent an hour talking about horses and dogs! haha!
In the evening Daughter was very angry for no reason and she talked back to me, she have never done this before! And so I asked her if she thought if felt hard staring school and "being a big girl" and she totally collapsed.... Started crying hysterical and said she was sad cause she would miss one of her best friends N and she was worried about maybe forgetting about her.... But N is the daughter of my cousin, and I promise they will meet at least twice a year! ;) And more! The she finally fell asleep as a happy girl.
Thursday May 16.
Got my money today! FINALLY!! Payed my bills that were late at midnight before I went to bed with an eased heart. Woke up with new energy and booked hotel for the Poland wedding. Really sheep!! 988 SEK/148 USD/ 115 Euro (About that), 3 nights and 2 persons. AND!!! We get a double bed!! :D It's close to Warsaw and the wedding ceremony. And yes Panda will pay me half of it.
And tomorrow I will get new kitchen cabinets!! Yeay!! :D
Well now I have to go! Shopping shopping!
My precious daughter had her first induction day at her new school! She was so nervous she had stomach pain, poor thing! :) But it was just an introduction with the teachers and kids and it went super. We spent an hour playing with the kids (My old kindergarten kids!) outside on the yard afterwards. Then we went home, made some snacks and went to the playground. Met a friend and a mother of some kids there and we spent an hour talking about horses and dogs! haha!
In the evening Daughter was very angry for no reason and she talked back to me, she have never done this before! And so I asked her if she thought if felt hard staring school and "being a big girl" and she totally collapsed.... Started crying hysterical and said she was sad cause she would miss one of her best friends N and she was worried about maybe forgetting about her.... But N is the daughter of my cousin, and I promise they will meet at least twice a year! ;) And more! The she finally fell asleep as a happy girl.
Thursday May 16.
Got my money today! FINALLY!! Payed my bills that were late at midnight before I went to bed with an eased heart. Woke up with new energy and booked hotel for the Poland wedding. Really sheep!! 988 SEK/148 USD/ 115 Euro (About that), 3 nights and 2 persons. AND!!! We get a double bed!! :D It's close to Warsaw and the wedding ceremony. And yes Panda will pay me half of it.
Link to hotel!! It's in Swedish!
And today I finally could afford to refill my makeup stash. Feels good to be able to look good again and not like a teenager that fell in a makeup box! xD And soon I will pick up Daughter and go to the store. My poor cats have had to pee in their old pee for a week now... :( And that have resulted in peeing on my bed cover.. Again.... Just washed it 4 days ago....And tomorrow I will get new kitchen cabinets!! Yeay!! :D
Well now I have to go! Shopping shopping!
BAAAII!!!// Teri
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Photos! New update!
I don't know why I don't update on weekdays. Maybe it's not fun enough? ;)
I don't have anyone to tell things about since no one is reading my blog! ;)
Anywhore....
Thursday May 9.
Went to my mother for some fun-time! Daughter played with the neighbors kid and painted a picture. I did too paint some! It was fun! And we found a toad to pet and instead of a daughter I got a Ninja Turtle Jr! ;)
It's nice that she have the same sense of humor as the others in my family! ;)
Friday May 10.
Went into Stockholm with my little princess to see the Sakura/Cherry blossom in Kungsträdgården. She was supposed to go to my mum/grandmother and she nagged about going there instead of trying to have fun in Stockholm. But when we met up with my friend N and she got ice cream she got happy!
When I dropped of Daughter with her grandmother I went out for After Work Beer with N. It was really nice in the sun. And warm! We talked about allot of stuff, mostly about Love! I need to find him a girlfriend!! ;)
When he went away I went home to my Panda. He was away and I had to wait. I got cold and tired so I went to bed. Woke up when he jumped in front of me! haha! Had a really bad headache and he said we were to go to to his friend. I thought "Oh dear, this is going to end in a party" and boy was I right! Luckily I know him and put on some fancy clothes.
Panda also bought a new car! Audi TT something. It's like a wet boy dream.... ;) he is so proud and happy about it. I tease him about it but I'm happy for him too! It's a nice car!!
But we took the car to his friend and had some drinks. Well his friends and I had some drinks. Panda drove.
Then we went to town for some party. Got let in on the side by the guards like V.I.P! haha! Danced and had a fun time together!
OH! And Panda and I got invited to his friend's and his girlfriend's WEDDING! Finally a wedding and not a funeral! The problem is... It's in Poland.... Expensive traveling.... But a wedding! Have to look for a dress! hihihihhiiiii!!! Fun fun fun hand so happy for them!!
Saturday May 11.
Went for a PW that ended up being just a walk and subway riding. ;) But it was nice in the sun and at least I had a fun time (Singing and dancing and being silly while he was complaining! haha!)
Then we spent the rest of the day sleeping, eating and cuddling in the sofa. Well we took a ride in the car for a while before we went home, made some dumplings and went to bed.
Sunday May 12.
Today Panda needed to do some work at the restaurant and we went there before I had to go home. On the subway he took sneaky pictures of me, sent them to me and wrote "You are a hag, but a very pretty hag!" HAHA! Tanks allot love... ;) In Swedish it was "Du är en kärring. Mycket snygg kärring!"
I look like a dork in the photo! haha! Totally lost in my phone watching the NEWS actually. About the kidnapper in Cleveland. Creepy man... Little Fritzl Jr... Haha! Naah that was mean... Fritzl was a really mean man! He looked mean!!
We got to the restaurant and he started working, preparing stuff for tomorrow when it opens again. I helped by just standing/sitting/walking around there. ;) I'm such a helper! But he still made me sushi before I had to go home!
Got home to mum and Daughter and Daughter had gotten new stuff, a jacket, shoes, Hello Kitty hair strands and shorts. So Daughter was happy! We got home and had sushi. She doesn't like sushi, but Panda made tofu- and avocado sushi for us. And she ate it!! Now I'm really tired.
I think my apartment is an energy thief.... I always get drained out of energy and get headaches whenever I get home....
Now I have to clean up some...
I don't have anyone to tell things about since no one is reading my blog! ;)
Anywhore....
Thursday May 9.
Went to my mother for some fun-time! Daughter played with the neighbors kid and painted a picture. I did too paint some! It was fun! And we found a toad to pet and instead of a daughter I got a Ninja Turtle Jr! ;)
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| TMNT!! <3 ^_^ |
Friday May 10.
Went into Stockholm with my little princess to see the Sakura/Cherry blossom in Kungsträdgården. She was supposed to go to my mum/grandmother and she nagged about going there instead of trying to have fun in Stockholm. But when we met up with my friend N and she got ice cream she got happy!
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| Me and the sakura flowers! |
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| The most beautiful thing in the world! The only thing I managed to do right in my life! :') <3 |
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| Beer with my Brother/friend! AW! |
Panda also bought a new car! Audi TT something. It's like a wet boy dream.... ;) he is so proud and happy about it. I tease him about it but I'm happy for him too! It's a nice car!!
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| My baby's' new toy! ^_^ |
Then we went to town for some party. Got let in on the side by the guards like V.I.P! haha! Danced and had a fun time together!
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| Party!! |
Saturday May 11.
Went for a PW that ended up being just a walk and subway riding. ;) But it was nice in the sun and at least I had a fun time (Singing and dancing and being silly while he was complaining! haha!)
Then we spent the rest of the day sleeping, eating and cuddling in the sofa. Well we took a ride in the car for a while before we went home, made some dumplings and went to bed.
Sunday May 12.
Today Panda needed to do some work at the restaurant and we went there before I had to go home. On the subway he took sneaky pictures of me, sent them to me and wrote "You are a hag, but a very pretty hag!" HAHA! Tanks allot love... ;) In Swedish it was "Du är en kärring. Mycket snygg kärring!"
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| Dork!! |
We got to the restaurant and he started working, preparing stuff for tomorrow when it opens again. I helped by just standing/sitting/walking around there. ;) I'm such a helper! But he still made me sushi before I had to go home!
Got home to mum and Daughter and Daughter had gotten new stuff, a jacket, shoes, Hello Kitty hair strands and shorts. So Daughter was happy! We got home and had sushi. She doesn't like sushi, but Panda made tofu- and avocado sushi for us. And she ate it!! Now I'm really tired.
I think my apartment is an energy thief.... I always get drained out of energy and get headaches whenever I get home....
Now I have to clean up some...
Love// Teri
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Update!!
Friday May 3.
Went up really early to work 3 hours. Got home to sleep some more before I left Daughter with her father.Went to Stockholm and met up with some friends. We got to a restaurant (even thou I can't afford.. But should I just sit and watch while everyone else eats and be hungry?!?!*Cry*) called Jensen's Böfhouse and had steak. it was good and nice to talk and hang with friends. Then I got home to my Panda and fell asleep... Haha!
Saturday May 4.
Panda had to go run some errands with his family and I went to town to help my "brother from another Vietnamese mother" find a blazer. Went to every store in town, even went to Nacka Forum (a big mall) and there we finally found it. He bought me lunch and then we went home to his place. He just moved to Stockholm and I had to see where he lived. he lived next door to a friend of mine! haha! Panda came too when he was done and we went to a beach and played around with ice cream, sand and a "toy car" in a playground!
Then Panda and I went home for some dinner and cozy time in the sofa. I had a blast that day! I love my brotha and I'm in love with my Panda so much! I don't think you can love someone that much! ^_^
Sunday May 5.
Went to a place in Stockholm called Fredhäll and sat on the rocks watching the ocean and the boats passing by. Really nice, except for the ind blowing, like a minor storm! haha!
Unfortunately I was a bit moody and left in a bad mood. But it got better after a few texts from panda! :)
Monday May 6.
Did nothing at all..... Well I applied for an education! :D Yeay me!! And had dinner at my mum again! :D
Tuesday May 7.
Daughter went to kindergarten and I went to a friend for some coffee and some nice talk. Long time ago! Then I got home and got Daughter and we spent some time outdoor in the really nice weather! Warm today! After getting some energy by the sun I had really much energy to clean the apartment! It's really nice now! :)
And time flew by. Now I have to work out a bit and then go to bed!
Went up really early to work 3 hours. Got home to sleep some more before I left Daughter with her father.Went to Stockholm and met up with some friends. We got to a restaurant (even thou I can't afford.. But should I just sit and watch while everyone else eats and be hungry?!?!*Cry*) called Jensen's Böfhouse and had steak. it was good and nice to talk and hang with friends. Then I got home to my Panda and fell asleep... Haha!
Saturday May 4.
Panda had to go run some errands with his family and I went to town to help my "brother from another Vietnamese mother" find a blazer. Went to every store in town, even went to Nacka Forum (a big mall) and there we finally found it. He bought me lunch and then we went home to his place. He just moved to Stockholm and I had to see where he lived. he lived next door to a friend of mine! haha! Panda came too when he was done and we went to a beach and played around with ice cream, sand and a "toy car" in a playground!
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| Yes ladies! He is single!! ;) |
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| Goofy love = real love!! <3 |
Sunday May 5.
Went to a place in Stockholm called Fredhäll and sat on the rocks watching the ocean and the boats passing by. Really nice, except for the ind blowing, like a minor storm! haha!
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| My love for the ocean will always be true! ^_^ |
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| So will my love for you! <3 |
Monday May 6.
Did nothing at all..... Well I applied for an education! :D Yeay me!! And had dinner at my mum again! :D
Tuesday May 7.
Daughter went to kindergarten and I went to a friend for some coffee and some nice talk. Long time ago! Then I got home and got Daughter and we spent some time outdoor in the really nice weather! Warm today! After getting some energy by the sun I had really much energy to clean the apartment! It's really nice now! :)
And time flew by. Now I have to work out a bit and then go to bed!
Pai!! //Teri!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Swedish celebration, Asian style!!
My neck is hurting so much right now.. This morning I got "stuck" with my arm up and when I tried to move it hurt like 100 knives shoved into my neck! I tolerate pain quite well, but this time I cried....
I don't like my life right now. Ever since work practice ended everything that could go wrong or trouble me- have... Tomorrow I'm having a meeting and I also have to cancel my dental appointment and find out where my money have gone to....
In Sweden (and some other European countries) we celebrate something called Valborg.I think it's called Spring folk festival in English. It's a tradition from back in Germany where someone became a saint and the the Christians became witch hunters and burned witches on the stake. And yeah that's what we are celebrating... But nowadays it's a celebration of spring. Well, anyways....
Yesterday I went to my panda for some Fried Rice Asian party (Very Swedish, I know!) and I had a blast! My feet didn't hurt and I took a painkiller that actually worked so that my neck didn't hurt. I danced and had a fun time with my friends and my love. Met some new crazy people and it was very very hot although I didn't have much clothes on!!! But it was fun! :D
And yes I have high heels on that's why I'm so frickin' tall! My legs look sexy in high heels... ;) seeexy!!! I had my cute little skort on! :D I really liked it!! Cuuuute! And seeeexy... ;)
And I have to put up a picture taken of us last summer, when we had just met and went to Skansen Zoo in Stockholm. I was so shy then! haha! And it tells in the picture! But you can also see... I was in love already! ;) Right?
Yeah I like to play with the pictures!! ^_^ But now I have to stop writing cuz my neck is killing me and I have to go to bed...
I don't like my life right now. Ever since work practice ended everything that could go wrong or trouble me- have... Tomorrow I'm having a meeting and I also have to cancel my dental appointment and find out where my money have gone to....
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| Me, this Monday. Before everything started! |
Yesterday I went to my panda for some Fried Rice Asian party (Very Swedish, I know!) and I had a blast! My feet didn't hurt and I took a painkiller that actually worked so that my neck didn't hurt. I danced and had a fun time with my friends and my love. Met some new crazy people and it was very very hot although I didn't have much clothes on!!! But it was fun! :D
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| Me and my Panda! |
And I have to put up a picture taken of us last summer, when we had just met and went to Skansen Zoo in Stockholm. I was so shy then! haha! And it tells in the picture! But you can also see... I was in love already! ;) Right?
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| L.O.V.E |
Pai!! //Teri
Friday, April 26, 2013
Oh the stupidity!!!!
I am watching "Cops" and "Speeders" on TV and it amazes me how stupid people are!
First: Why do drugs at all? And if you have to do drugs, why do you take the car and brake traffic regulations and get caught for both?
Second: Why do you try to run when you have been caught? I have never ever heard of someone getting away after getting caught! Ever! And trying to run while cuffed? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?!?!
Third: Trying to lie about not having anything on you... They will search you!
Forth: Why!?!?! WHY!?!?!?! Why do you even do things like this?
I get if you are poor and need to get money, but there is other ways.... I'm not the riches girl in the world.. But I don't steal, I don't do drugs, I don't do crime! But you know what? I fight! Not with my fists, but with my mind! My stubborn determent mind.
And "Speeders"... A bunch of teenage girls wearing no underwear, drinking beer in the car, getting pulled over and saying (Drunk as fuck): "Have I been a bad girl? Can I get a spanking instead of a ticket?" *FACEPALM* Or the ones that got away with a warning and still tries to argue about it....
Oh the stupidity!!!!
Back to my reality....
I haven't updated in a while because I don't know what to say. In my last post I said life was all well and going forward. But as usual when I open my mouth the "shut you mouth and suffer bitch"- bomb drops on me!
But at least yesterday was a good day! The sun was shining, I was with my best friends and the love of my life (Yes he is!!) and we had a fun afternoon at the amusement park Gröna Lund in Stockholm! Me and Panda (Mostly Panda!!) are cowards and don't ride all the rides. I don't mostly because of my back and my heart.
Yeah I have a heart "problem". I have stress hormones around my heart that makes the nerves around it kick in and make the heart beat irregular and very fast/hard. Stress kills me and I'm stressed all the time....
Anyway... We had a fun time and Panda won a game slinging balls in a slingshot on a pile of cans! TWICE!! :D I'm such a proud Panda girlfriend! He got a large fabric flower with a smiley face! haha!
And this morning I didn't have to get up really early, so I could stay in bed till Panda woke up and had to go to work. We both wanted to stay in bed and cuddle. He is so cuddle friendly! haha! Soft and cozy! ^_^ Like a big baby!! hahahaha! Oh dear I love him!
And yeah my work practice is over... A bit sad, the kids are great and I will really miss them! And the personal too! I can only hope to come and work a bit now and then. And Daughter will be in that school so I will get to see them now and then! :)
Now I'm dead tired.... Have to wait for Daughter to go to bed... haha! Tomorrow she is going to a birthday party, my cousins daughter and Daughter's best friend! :) SOFA! Here I come!! ^_^
First: Why do drugs at all? And if you have to do drugs, why do you take the car and brake traffic regulations and get caught for both?
Second: Why do you try to run when you have been caught? I have never ever heard of someone getting away after getting caught! Ever! And trying to run while cuffed? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?!?!
Third: Trying to lie about not having anything on you... They will search you!
Forth: Why!?!?! WHY!?!?!?! Why do you even do things like this?
I get if you are poor and need to get money, but there is other ways.... I'm not the riches girl in the world.. But I don't steal, I don't do drugs, I don't do crime! But you know what? I fight! Not with my fists, but with my mind! My stubborn determent mind.
And "Speeders"... A bunch of teenage girls wearing no underwear, drinking beer in the car, getting pulled over and saying (Drunk as fuck): "Have I been a bad girl? Can I get a spanking instead of a ticket?" *FACEPALM* Or the ones that got away with a warning and still tries to argue about it....
Oh the stupidity!!!!
Back to my reality....
I haven't updated in a while because I don't know what to say. In my last post I said life was all well and going forward. But as usual when I open my mouth the "shut you mouth and suffer bitch"- bomb drops on me!
But at least yesterday was a good day! The sun was shining, I was with my best friends and the love of my life (Yes he is!!) and we had a fun afternoon at the amusement park Gröna Lund in Stockholm! Me and Panda (Mostly Panda!!) are cowards and don't ride all the rides. I don't mostly because of my back and my heart.
Yeah I have a heart "problem". I have stress hormones around my heart that makes the nerves around it kick in and make the heart beat irregular and very fast/hard. Stress kills me and I'm stressed all the time....
Anyway... We had a fun time and Panda won a game slinging balls in a slingshot on a pile of cans! TWICE!! :D I'm such a proud Panda girlfriend! He got a large fabric flower with a smiley face! haha!
And this morning I didn't have to get up really early, so I could stay in bed till Panda woke up and had to go to work. We both wanted to stay in bed and cuddle. He is so cuddle friendly! haha! Soft and cozy! ^_^ Like a big baby!! hahahaha! Oh dear I love him!
And yeah my work practice is over... A bit sad, the kids are great and I will really miss them! And the personal too! I can only hope to come and work a bit now and then. And Daughter will be in that school so I will get to see them now and then! :)
Now I'm dead tired.... Have to wait for Daughter to go to bed... haha! Tomorrow she is going to a birthday party, my cousins daughter and Daughter's best friend! :) SOFA! Here I come!! ^_^
Pai!!//Teri
Sunday, April 14, 2013
I heart life!
I have a great feeling about life right now! I think I have a plan of what to do with my life. Tomorrow I'm going to talk with a lady about a job during summer, I think I have decided to take the barista course in the autumn together with my bestie and then I will take another course to learn about how to become a receptionist/how to work with customer service. And if I can't get the summer job tomorrow, I will keep trying all summer. But I still have the plan for autumn! FIGHTING!!!
Finally some clarity in my life and it feels soooooooo goooooooood!!! Like a stone has dropped from my shoulders. I have never been this sure of anything.
And I'm happy in love, I have the sweetest daughter ever, the best of friends and the greatest family ever. How can I be so lucky!? It feels too god to be true....
I want to show you some pictures. it's been a long time since the last ones.. ;)
Today Daughter and I had a nice day together. Fist we went to her swim class. She was so good. Then we went to my mothers house to have lunch. Afterwards we went to see a popular child/adult artist/singer called Sean Banan (Sean Banana). Daughter was very happy even thou we didn't see that much cause of all the people there. We also met up with her friend from daycare and her mother. We went together to a playground (Filled with snow and water!!). We talked allot while the kids were playing. It was nice, until the kids got all wet and cold and we had to get home. Now Daughter is coughing allot, I think her cold got worse. I was thinking about going home early tomorrow and stay home on Thursday so she can recover a bit. She is a fast recover.
I'm very thirsty.... And I have a headache... Drink some water and go to bed then!
Finally some clarity in my life and it feels soooooooo goooooooood!!! Like a stone has dropped from my shoulders. I have never been this sure of anything.
And I'm happy in love, I have the sweetest daughter ever, the best of friends and the greatest family ever. How can I be so lucky!? It feels too god to be true....
I want to show you some pictures. it's been a long time since the last ones.. ;)
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| My geisha princess with her Kimono from Japan. |
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| 3 of the best people in the world and a warm-bellied statue. |
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| Me today and my new YesStyle/Goodies "jacket" ^_^ |
I'm very thirsty.... And I have a headache... Drink some water and go to bed then!
PAAAAIII!!!// Teri
Friday, April 12, 2013
Duuuuuu duuuuuuu dumdumdum duuuu duuu dumdumdumd duuuuu duuu dudududuuuuuuh!
This week have been slow. Yesterday (Thursday) I went to Panda! Had a really fun evening, joking around and laughing allot! I really love being with him! :) But the time went by too fast and I fell asleep at 22.00.... I had to get up really early to go to work and when I kissed him good bye he hold me so hard. I didn't want to leave... :(
And today Daughter asked: "Why don't you two live together? I really want "Panda" to live with us"...
I REALLY WANT IT TOO!!! But we are still fresh and we both have our reasons to stay where we are right now. He have a tiny apartment and his work is over there, so he can't move here. But I wanna......
And this week will be slow too.... One week seems like an eternity!! This Friday, next week, Daughter will be coming with me to work to meet her "to-be classmates" since her own daycare is closed. It will be fun! :D
Now we are watching Star wars! Daughter is asking every 5th second: "What are they saying? Why do they do that?" 5 year old's that don't know English probably shouldn't watch this things? ;) But she have nagged about it the whole week!
Well, I have to go to bed... Eehh.. The sofa.... ;) Live long and prosper... Or something... ;) (I know, it's not a Star wars phrase!!!)
And today Daughter asked: "Why don't you two live together? I really want "Panda" to live with us"...
I REALLY WANT IT TOO!!! But we are still fresh and we both have our reasons to stay where we are right now. He have a tiny apartment and his work is over there, so he can't move here. But I wanna......
And this week will be slow too.... One week seems like an eternity!! This Friday, next week, Daughter will be coming with me to work to meet her "to-be classmates" since her own daycare is closed. It will be fun! :D
Now we are watching Star wars! Daughter is asking every 5th second: "What are they saying? Why do they do that?" 5 year old's that don't know English probably shouldn't watch this things? ;) But she have nagged about it the whole week!
Well, I have to go to bed... Eehh.. The sofa.... ;) Live long and prosper... Or something... ;) (I know, it's not a Star wars phrase!!!)
Pai!! //Teri
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Cuddles!!
Haha I just found this picture and I think it fits perfectly into the way we "cuddle" before we sleep! But just imagine him with a phone in his hand... ;)
Click it to enlarge! :) <3
Lots of love and laughter! ^_^
Lots of stuff have happened! Mostly in my mind. I have decided to take another path, to drop the childcare path and seek out another path. I think in the service business, like a receptionist, cashier or in a coffee shop. Barista would be really fun since I have this dream of mine, but I also have to be realistic. I have to think really hard now....
And I have met a "fortune teller" that also said the same thing I have been thinking about. The only thing she said that was weird was that my grandfather was the one talking to her, but she made him look like a silly man instead of the kind loving man he was. And that my grandfather said stuff I think he NEVER EVER would say, like "it will be alright", joke about stuff and most of all that my boyfriend and I will not last more than this summer, because I have "the love of my life" somewhere in the world. I think he would say something like "It you don't work for it, it will never happen", don't joke about my future and say that the most important thing is that I'm happy RIGHT NOW! Not talking about breaking up cause I MIGHT find someone in this world. She said something about finding someone that twill take my breath away, sweep my feet and such. Well, that's the feeling I had when I met Panda! And I have never loved like this before. Not even Daughters' father.... So, Go home fortune, you're drunk....
Now some funny stuff! I got my spring jacket this week! They delivered it to my work! I LOVE IT!!! :D
Buuuut of course, when I put it on more snow came... I hate Swedish weather. It's supposed to be spring now! And tomorrow the order I made exactly one month ago will come too! My skort, leggings and summer jacket! *Happy face*
This weekend I went to Panda, and yesterday (Saturday) we met up with my best friend/Soul mate/Sister and her boyfriend. First we had a latte and carrot cake in Wayne's coffee and waited for Panda to drive his parents home.
Then we took the tram out and went for a long walk from Djurgården in Stockholm into to the city. When we had to pee sis and I got into this disgusting public toilet and I scared the living crap out of both of us when we were supposed to get out. There was a little red button on the wall and I wanted to see what happened if you push it. So I told her to open the door in case we had to run! But just as I was about to push it the toilet automatically flushes and I get scared, scream and run out, sis screams and runs too without knowing why I screamed and then we laugh so much that we cried and I couldn't breath! Our boyfriends stood outside and looked like question marks wondering what the hell was wrong with us! hahaha! It was more funny to be there and live it... ;) We had a really nice day anyway, with people I love!
But in the evening I thought about the stuff the fortune teller had said and got sad. I know it's not true, I know how much I love my Panda, but I believe in this things and maybe in some way it could be true. But after hugging my Panda for a very long time and a few tears later I made up my mind. He might or might not be the love of my life, but he is the one I love right now and I love him very very much! And I want to be with him forever if I can! And when I told him what she said, he got mad! And said it's not true! I should not believe in things like that, and so on. I love him so much!! <3
On Friday my mother got home from Japan! Tomorrow we are going to have dinner with them as usual. It's going to be nice to have our old routines back! ;)
Panda and I have decided to start working out together. So when I'm there and live there for two weeks we are going to work out together! FIGHTING! :D
Now let's hope this awful snow goes away so that I can wear my nice new skort and my awesome spring jacket every day (Not the skort, but the jacket!)
And for those who don't know what a skort is: skirt + shorts = skort! ;) I really hope they fit. Asians are much smaller than I.... Haha!
And I have to say, YesStyle really is the best! Cheap and fast and when there is problems they work it out fast and politely tell you how sorry they are for causing you problems (I got 3 e-mails where they said they are sorry!!) And even compensating by bidding on the shipping fee! :D I really love them!! LOVE! I love allot.... I have a whole lotta lovin'.. ;)
And I have met a "fortune teller" that also said the same thing I have been thinking about. The only thing she said that was weird was that my grandfather was the one talking to her, but she made him look like a silly man instead of the kind loving man he was. And that my grandfather said stuff I think he NEVER EVER would say, like "it will be alright", joke about stuff and most of all that my boyfriend and I will not last more than this summer, because I have "the love of my life" somewhere in the world. I think he would say something like "It you don't work for it, it will never happen", don't joke about my future and say that the most important thing is that I'm happy RIGHT NOW! Not talking about breaking up cause I MIGHT find someone in this world. She said something about finding someone that twill take my breath away, sweep my feet and such. Well, that's the feeling I had when I met Panda! And I have never loved like this before. Not even Daughters' father.... So, Go home fortune, you're drunk....
Now some funny stuff! I got my spring jacket this week! They delivered it to my work! I LOVE IT!!! :D
This weekend I went to Panda, and yesterday (Saturday) we met up with my best friend/Soul mate/Sister and her boyfriend. First we had a latte and carrot cake in Wayne's coffee and waited for Panda to drive his parents home.
Then we took the tram out and went for a long walk from Djurgården in Stockholm into to the city. When we had to pee sis and I got into this disgusting public toilet and I scared the living crap out of both of us when we were supposed to get out. There was a little red button on the wall and I wanted to see what happened if you push it. So I told her to open the door in case we had to run! But just as I was about to push it the toilet automatically flushes and I get scared, scream and run out, sis screams and runs too without knowing why I screamed and then we laugh so much that we cried and I couldn't breath! Our boyfriends stood outside and looked like question marks wondering what the hell was wrong with us! hahaha! It was more funny to be there and live it... ;) We had a really nice day anyway, with people I love!
But in the evening I thought about the stuff the fortune teller had said and got sad. I know it's not true, I know how much I love my Panda, but I believe in this things and maybe in some way it could be true. But after hugging my Panda for a very long time and a few tears later I made up my mind. He might or might not be the love of my life, but he is the one I love right now and I love him very very much! And I want to be with him forever if I can! And when I told him what she said, he got mad! And said it's not true! I should not believe in things like that, and so on. I love him so much!! <3
On Friday my mother got home from Japan! Tomorrow we are going to have dinner with them as usual. It's going to be nice to have our old routines back! ;)
Panda and I have decided to start working out together. So when I'm there and live there for two weeks we are going to work out together! FIGHTING! :D
Now let's hope this awful snow goes away so that I can wear my nice new skort and my awesome spring jacket every day (Not the skort, but the jacket!)
And for those who don't know what a skort is: skirt + shorts = skort! ;) I really hope they fit. Asians are much smaller than I.... Haha!
And I have to say, YesStyle really is the best! Cheap and fast and when there is problems they work it out fast and politely tell you how sorry they are for causing you problems (I got 3 e-mails where they said they are sorry!!) And even compensating by bidding on the shipping fee! :D I really love them!! LOVE! I love allot.... I have a whole lotta lovin'.. ;)
Pai pai!! //Teri
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Em nhớ anh....
Things is getting better! But I'm getting more tired... I have muscle pain and headache... The stress is releasing! And it's still cold!!
Today I'm starting my low carbohydrate "diet" and TRYING to quit sugar in form of bread and candy and so on. I have a severe sugar addiction!! And well, the sugar thing isn't going that well... I have had a few candies and a bit of dark chocolate (70% cocoa)... And bread... Dammit it's hard!!! But it's just day one! And it's allot less than I usually eat. And I'm trying to drink more water, cause I'm very bad at drinking the amounts you are supposed to, or to drink at all! And no I'm not trying to loose allot of weight, I just want to be more healthy and if a kilo or two disappears, that's OK! And I will try to start working out again... When there is time. And it's really hard to keep from eating candy when Daughter have 3 big Easter eggs filled with candy!!!!
I really miss my Panda so much right now. For so many reasons.... I feel so relaxed when I'm with him and I really need a big long hug right now. And I want to give him one too!
I made this picture for him yesterday! "Em nhớ anh" - I miss you... I wish we could see each other more often.. I will get two weeks with him in the end of July! :D I want July now!! It will be very interesting to live together for two weeks. ;)
On Saturday I will go to a fortune teller lady with my soul mate-sister and her mother! I hope she is as good as my old one. If she is, I probably will keep going to her to have my fortune told. ^__^ It's like going to a psychologist, but better! Even in the things being said are bogus, she is good at reading people and so on, it feels really good to hear something! It's like people believing in God, it's a comfort to have a protected future! Or something... ;) haha!
I have to go put Daughter to bed now! I miss my mum....
Today I'm starting my low carbohydrate "diet" and TRYING to quit sugar in form of bread and candy and so on. I have a severe sugar addiction!! And well, the sugar thing isn't going that well... I have had a few candies and a bit of dark chocolate (70% cocoa)... And bread... Dammit it's hard!!! But it's just day one! And it's allot less than I usually eat. And I'm trying to drink more water, cause I'm very bad at drinking the amounts you are supposed to, or to drink at all! And no I'm not trying to loose allot of weight, I just want to be more healthy and if a kilo or two disappears, that's OK! And I will try to start working out again... When there is time. And it's really hard to keep from eating candy when Daughter have 3 big Easter eggs filled with candy!!!!
I really miss my Panda so much right now. For so many reasons.... I feel so relaxed when I'm with him and I really need a big long hug right now. And I want to give him one too!
I made this picture for him yesterday! "Em nhớ anh" - I miss you... I wish we could see each other more often.. I will get two weeks with him in the end of July! :D I want July now!! It will be very interesting to live together for two weeks. ;)
On Saturday I will go to a fortune teller lady with my soul mate-sister and her mother! I hope she is as good as my old one. If she is, I probably will keep going to her to have my fortune told. ^__^ It's like going to a psychologist, but better! Even in the things being said are bogus, she is good at reading people and so on, it feels really good to hear something! It's like people believing in God, it's a comfort to have a protected future! Or something... ;) haha!
I have to go put Daughter to bed now! I miss my mum....
Pai!! //Teri
Monday, April 1, 2013
Useless post!
My mum goes to the other side of the world and a bomb with things drops over me... So much have happened, things I can't talk about with anyone. Well my best friend/sister is someone I can talk to! But I still miss my mum!! ^_^
Easter has passed and it was OK! Had dinner at my dad on Friday and lunch at mein Oma (Grandmother on my mothers' side) on Sunday. Spent the night at Pandas' with Daughter the night before. Like having two children! haha! Poking, playing and arguing like siblings! hahaha! No I don't want another kid, I already have two.. ;) <3
Daughter got lot's of candy!! LOTS of candy!!
Today we went to see my grandmother on fathers' side. It was really a long time ago! We had cake with us and bought her dinner. I think she enjoy having us there and I feel sad I don't have enough time for everyone! Maybe I need a clone? Yes I need a clone... Too many relatives and too many (but wonderful!) friends!
It's still winter here. Even thou spring is slowly making it's way. This time last year I ran around in a skirt, picking flowers and wore nice cool shoes. Now i'm still dressed for winter, still snow and still minus degrees outside at night. I really hate winter, I'm allergic to winter! For real! I get itches and my eyes get runny...
I don't know what more to tell you, since I can't talk about the things that have happened.. So....
Easter has passed and it was OK! Had dinner at my dad on Friday and lunch at mein Oma (Grandmother on my mothers' side) on Sunday. Spent the night at Pandas' with Daughter the night before. Like having two children! haha! Poking, playing and arguing like siblings! hahaha! No I don't want another kid, I already have two.. ;) <3
Daughter got lot's of candy!! LOTS of candy!!
Today we went to see my grandmother on fathers' side. It was really a long time ago! We had cake with us and bought her dinner. I think she enjoy having us there and I feel sad I don't have enough time for everyone! Maybe I need a clone? Yes I need a clone... Too many relatives and too many (but wonderful!) friends!
It's still winter here. Even thou spring is slowly making it's way. This time last year I ran around in a skirt, picking flowers and wore nice cool shoes. Now i'm still dressed for winter, still snow and still minus degrees outside at night. I really hate winter, I'm allergic to winter! For real! I get itches and my eyes get runny...
I don't know what more to tell you, since I can't talk about the things that have happened.. So....
Pai!! //Teri
Monday, March 25, 2013
Monday!!!!
It's Monday! Yeay.... Put kids shoes on wrong, fell down a stone wall, my ear hurt, migraine, dropped everything I had in my hands all day.. It's Monday!! Had to quit earlier to get Daughter to the child care center for a check-up and vaccine. She was sooo good! The needle was scary, but she was brave! I would have cried!! Haha! Couldn't even watch... Treated us wits a hamburger and ice cream at McDonalds afterwards. Got a mail from my mum... From Tokyo... I MISS HER!!! Mum!!! Come home, I have allot to talk to you about..... T__T
Tomorrow it's time for me to get a check-up... And I have so much to do right now... No energy and no time... And I feel sad, on behalf of others and my own. I hate that I bring in others pain into my own body and soul. But I can't help it, I don't know how to stop it. And I hate that I let other people get to me in a bad way.... All I want now is for everyone to be happy and everything to be over!
But I'm happy to have such good friends, family, daughter and boyfriend! I really love them all with all my heart and soul!
Yesterday I talked to my "twin sister/soul-mate" on the phone for almost 4 hours!!! When we talk time flies by!! I'm happy she is closer now, even if it's still a bit hard to see each other when ever we want to, but it feels better! Like I have a piece of my self a bit closer! ^_^ <3 LOVE YOU SIS!!
Well that's all folks!!
Tomorrow it's time for me to get a check-up... And I have so much to do right now... No energy and no time... And I feel sad, on behalf of others and my own. I hate that I bring in others pain into my own body and soul. But I can't help it, I don't know how to stop it. And I hate that I let other people get to me in a bad way.... All I want now is for everyone to be happy and everything to be over!
But I'm happy to have such good friends, family, daughter and boyfriend! I really love them all with all my heart and soul!
Yesterday I talked to my "twin sister/soul-mate" on the phone for almost 4 hours!!! When we talk time flies by!! I'm happy she is closer now, even if it's still a bit hard to see each other when ever we want to, but it feels better! Like I have a piece of my self a bit closer! ^_^ <3 LOVE YOU SIS!!
Well that's all folks!!
Pai!! //Teri
Sunday, March 24, 2013
And the "best boyfriend award" goes to....
I really must have the best boyfriend ever! Yesterday (Saturday) my... Friend?... Let me down and I had to drink my wine alone. Panda didn't want to drink, but opened a cider for my sake.
Let me explain now.... I had a small "3-glass of wine bottle", I opened it do have a glass for dinner but I also bought it (and a few beers) to drink with my friend, who said she missed me 'cause we hadn't seen each other for a while. At first she was supposed to come Friday, but didn't come and said there is another day on this weekend..Then on Saturday she didn't even answer my calls or texts! And I had a small bottle of wine opened..... I was sad and mad and didn't want to drink alone and didn't want to pour out the wine, so my dear sweet Panda opened a cider that I bought for him to drink (with me and the friend). He didn't even like it, but drank it with me so that I wouldn't feel alone! THAT my friends is LOVE!!
I feel blessed to have him in my life. I know I sometimes tell my friends only the bad stuff and forget about the good stuff he does, the good stuff that is greater than any bad thing. He really is a great man! The best I've ever had! and I don't deserve him... Really! And I wait for the day when the bomb will drop on me... The catastrophic "make Teri's life a mess" bomb.... Anyway, I hope we will last a long long time! <3 No bombs...
Now he is having a bit of a hard time and I really wish I could do more for him.... I want to be the one he come to, the ones' shoulder he cries on, the one he fully trust.... The one to help him! But, I'm STILL not a superhero.... I want to be a superhero... I want to save the world.... Damnit.....
Well, I do my best! All I can do....
Have to go to bed now... Sleep away this two weeks.. I miss my Panda already, and we can't see each other in two weeks now since my mother and her husband is in Japan and can't take Daughter on Thursdays as usual.
Let me explain now.... I had a small "3-glass of wine bottle", I opened it do have a glass for dinner but I also bought it (and a few beers) to drink with my friend, who said she missed me 'cause we hadn't seen each other for a while. At first she was supposed to come Friday, but didn't come and said there is another day on this weekend..Then on Saturday she didn't even answer my calls or texts! And I had a small bottle of wine opened..... I was sad and mad and didn't want to drink alone and didn't want to pour out the wine, so my dear sweet Panda opened a cider that I bought for him to drink (with me and the friend). He didn't even like it, but drank it with me so that I wouldn't feel alone! THAT my friends is LOVE!!
I feel blessed to have him in my life. I know I sometimes tell my friends only the bad stuff and forget about the good stuff he does, the good stuff that is greater than any bad thing. He really is a great man! The best I've ever had! and I don't deserve him... Really! And I wait for the day when the bomb will drop on me... The catastrophic "make Teri's life a mess" bomb.... Anyway, I hope we will last a long long time! <3 No bombs...
Now he is having a bit of a hard time and I really wish I could do more for him.... I want to be the one he come to, the ones' shoulder he cries on, the one he fully trust.... The one to help him! But, I'm STILL not a superhero.... I want to be a superhero... I want to save the world.... Damnit.....
Well, I do my best! All I can do....
Have to go to bed now... Sleep away this two weeks.. I miss my Panda already, and we can't see each other in two weeks now since my mother and her husband is in Japan and can't take Daughter on Thursdays as usual.
Pai pai!! //Teri
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Intense weekend!!
It seems like I always update about the weekends! But hey, who want to read about my boring life in the weekdays? Wake up - work - go home - have dinner - sleep....
This weekend have been intense!! I was free on Friday so Daughter and I went to panda on Thursday for a sleepover! Daughter had been looking forward to this very much! He went to work on Friday morning and we stayed for a while before we went into town to meet my friends. Walked around town and Daughter had fun with my friends! I love that she is a girl that loves everyone! <3
Went home in the evening and went to bed.
Saturday morning she jumped up on my bed yelling "Mom! Wake up! We have to go to the swimming school!!" Haha! Her first day!! She was so exited and happy! She did really well and had really fun. The only thing was, she was the smallest (shortest) one there and barely had her head above the water! hahaha!
Afterwords we had pizza and I left her at my mums' place. I went to Stockholm again and met up with my friends again. Shopped some candy and buns at the Asian market and went home to eat some dinner, play some games, sing some Sing-star and eat allot of sugar!!
Went to bed late and I had to get up early. Got to say good bye to some of the people that also woke up early.
Went home to pick up Daughter for swimming school, second day. This time I didn't get to watch... It was HARD!! I have to realize she is growing up. The we went home, she went to play with the neighbors daughter and I fell asleep... haha!
I asked her what she liked most about this weekend (except swimming school) and she said the best ting wast staying at Pandas' place! :)
Now it's time to go to bed with some zombies again! I'm still tired...
This weekend have been intense!! I was free on Friday so Daughter and I went to panda on Thursday for a sleepover! Daughter had been looking forward to this very much! He went to work on Friday morning and we stayed for a while before we went into town to meet my friends. Walked around town and Daughter had fun with my friends! I love that she is a girl that loves everyone! <3
Went home in the evening and went to bed.
Saturday morning she jumped up on my bed yelling "Mom! Wake up! We have to go to the swimming school!!" Haha! Her first day!! She was so exited and happy! She did really well and had really fun. The only thing was, she was the smallest (shortest) one there and barely had her head above the water! hahaha!
Afterwords we had pizza and I left her at my mums' place. I went to Stockholm again and met up with my friends again. Shopped some candy and buns at the Asian market and went home to eat some dinner, play some games, sing some Sing-star and eat allot of sugar!!
Went to bed late and I had to get up early. Got to say good bye to some of the people that also woke up early.
Went home to pick up Daughter for swimming school, second day. This time I didn't get to watch... It was HARD!! I have to realize she is growing up. The we went home, she went to play with the neighbors daughter and I fell asleep... haha!
I asked her what she liked most about this weekend (except swimming school) and she said the best ting wast staying at Pandas' place! :)
Now it's time to go to bed with some zombies again! I'm still tired...
BYE!! Xoxo// Teri
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Headache...
It's snowing again...... I hate Swedish winter... It never ends!!!!
I have been home for two days with a terrible headache.... On Sunday, in the middle of the night, I went up to get another pill that doesn't work and almost collapsed because of the pain. Felt like someone hit me in the neck with full force and it went black and my legs crooked for about 1 second. It was really scary! And before I fell asleep I thought "Maybe I will die and never wake up if I fall asleep now.." I was really scared!! But I woke up and I still had a headache so I stayed at home. Today it's better but I wanted to rest at home anyway in case it would get worse. I had to go out anyway to see my work-adviser and drop in some paper and get more confused at the social insurance office... I hate all their paperwork! Gave me more headache... But now I think I'm fine actually! I hope... Just a little pain....
Dropped by a Vietnamese import store. They sell clothes and stuff both in store and on e-bay. Talked with the guy who works there, he and his wife owns the shop, for a long time. I found out this weekend his wife is a friend of my boyfriends friend! haha! So we talked about the shop and Vietnam and such. Daughter got to show off her Viet skills! "Ban có khóe không" hahaha! So cute! But he only knew one word, Ngon! It means "tastes good" haha! So I learned another word!! :D Productive day!
Oh and this weekend I also learned to say "horse" and I laughed so hard!!!!!! Sounds like you are puking when you say it!! Ngựa... Hahahahaha! My sense of humor is extremely low.. I know...
Have to go... Take a rest and get daughter to bed... She have been very angry at me today because I "forced" her too clean her room... But I did most of the cleaning as usual and she only complained... No TV or games for a few days now....
I have been home for two days with a terrible headache.... On Sunday, in the middle of the night, I went up to get another pill that doesn't work and almost collapsed because of the pain. Felt like someone hit me in the neck with full force and it went black and my legs crooked for about 1 second. It was really scary! And before I fell asleep I thought "Maybe I will die and never wake up if I fall asleep now.." I was really scared!! But I woke up and I still had a headache so I stayed at home. Today it's better but I wanted to rest at home anyway in case it would get worse. I had to go out anyway to see my work-adviser and drop in some paper and get more confused at the social insurance office... I hate all their paperwork! Gave me more headache... But now I think I'm fine actually! I hope... Just a little pain....
Dropped by a Vietnamese import store. They sell clothes and stuff both in store and on e-bay. Talked with the guy who works there, he and his wife owns the shop, for a long time. I found out this weekend his wife is a friend of my boyfriends friend! haha! So we talked about the shop and Vietnam and such. Daughter got to show off her Viet skills! "Ban có khóe không" hahaha! So cute! But he only knew one word, Ngon! It means "tastes good" haha! So I learned another word!! :D Productive day!
Oh and this weekend I also learned to say "horse" and I laughed so hard!!!!!! Sounds like you are puking when you say it!! Ngựa... Hahahahaha! My sense of humor is extremely low.. I know...
Have to go... Take a rest and get daughter to bed... She have been very angry at me today because I "forced" her too clean her room... But I did most of the cleaning as usual and she only complained... No TV or games for a few days now....
Tam biêt!! // Teri..
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Weeekeeeend!!
This weekend have been really nice! The week was slow and boring, so the weekend with Panda was welcome! Thursday and Friday was spent with just cuddling and movie and TAPAS!! First time I had tapas! It was good!! It was nice to take it slow. On Saturday we went to IKEA. We were supposed to buy only two things, but ended up with a full bag! As always when you visit IKEA! ;)
I bought new curtains, coat hangers, a heart shaped lamp for Daughter and some Bamboo plants. Panda bought a pink and a blue coffee cup, one for him and one for me (guess which one was mine? ;) hehe!) and blue and purple bath towels (same there, guess.. ;) tss..), new plates and some pillows.
This morning I was really tired.... Almost fell asleep in the shower, it was so nice and warm.. hehe! But it got better when I got out. Packed all my (heavy) stuff and went home. Didn't want to go, but I missed Daughter so much. I would like to have both by my side all the time! That would make me very happy... :)
So! I got pictures for you! This is my new curtains (and my bed with Teddy on it)....
The curtains are light brown, but they look white/beige on the photo. They really matches the wallpaper and they let the light in perfectly! And they were cheap... ;)
And this is my pimped kitchen! I got this Ivy in plastic from Panda and put it up on the lamp. And the cats' name is Ceacar. He is fat I know, but he is also old!! He gets to be fat.. ;)
It's a bad picture (From Instagram!) but if you enlarge it you can see it better! Maybe.. haha! xD
And this is a bit of the living room! The other part... Maybe I will photograph it later... When I have clead up a bit more.. haha!
The sewing machine isn't supposed to be there, I just don't know where to put it right now... And it is retro to have a fat-TV!! haha! And you can see my bamboo sticks beside the TV!! And some Vietnamese bean cookie/candy (the yellow stuff on the side), but you can't see it.. ;) Daughter loves them! And Panda loves to give her lots and lots of them... <3s
And yeah, I fell for the pressure... I got Instagram!! Teriswe - if you want to add me there!
Now I have to eat some more soup and then go to bed. I have a terrible headache... Not even pills help!!
I bought new curtains, coat hangers, a heart shaped lamp for Daughter and some Bamboo plants. Panda bought a pink and a blue coffee cup, one for him and one for me (guess which one was mine? ;) hehe!) and blue and purple bath towels (same there, guess.. ;) tss..), new plates and some pillows.
This morning I was really tired.... Almost fell asleep in the shower, it was so nice and warm.. hehe! But it got better when I got out. Packed all my (heavy) stuff and went home. Didn't want to go, but I missed Daughter so much. I would like to have both by my side all the time! That would make me very happy... :)
So! I got pictures for you! This is my new curtains (and my bed with Teddy on it)....
And this is my pimped kitchen! I got this Ivy in plastic from Panda and put it up on the lamp. And the cats' name is Ceacar. He is fat I know, but he is also old!! He gets to be fat.. ;)
And this is a bit of the living room! The other part... Maybe I will photograph it later... When I have clead up a bit more.. haha!
And yeah, I fell for the pressure... I got Instagram!! Teriswe - if you want to add me there!
Now I have to eat some more soup and then go to bed. I have a terrible headache... Not even pills help!!
Pai pai!! Or... Tam-biet! :) //Teri
Sunday, March 3, 2013
"New" apartment!! :D
Lots of stuff have happened this week! I haven't had time to write. Got back to "work" on Monday. On Tuesday the painter called me and said someone had canceled their renovation and they asked if I wanted my wallpaper already on Wednesday! Had to rush home and get tings ready, take down all the stuff on the walls and move furniture. My little brother helped me out! Got home on Wednesday evening and realized we can not live like this and asked my brother if we could sleep at his place with the cats. Only one cat came, the other one didn't even dare to come into the apartment!! Stupid cat... Had to stay out all night.. Got him in the day after.
Went to Panda on Thursday as usual. Got home on Friday and found out I've got a brand new apartment! At least it felt that way! Refurnished and got stuff ready. Today, Sunday my little brother came and helped me get stuff up on the walls again. I hate having concrete walls... Had to drill like a bazillion holes!!
Now my living room is 50/50 living room/bedroom! And it looks kinda good! I only would like a wall between the bed and the couch... Like a folding partition in rice paper, it would fit like a glove in here!! :D
I think I made a good choice on the wallpapers! Looks really good! I'm sorry but I don't have any photos yet. I haven't had time to take any in daylight. Mum and her husband and my brothers came here today for coffee and when they left I was exhausted!!
The cats have adjusted I think and Daughter says it feels like we have moved to another place! haha! And yeah, it kinda does. It doesn't feel like a worn down apartment anymore. It's fresh and clean! And whole!! No wallpaper rolling off the walls!! haha! All I have to do now is wait for the kitchen cabinets and the benches to come, but for that I'll have to wait at least two months...
Have to get to bed now and watch "The walking dead" so I can have freaky zombie dreams again.. ;)
Oh and I love my brother for helping me out! Without him I wouldn't have made it!! <3
Went to Panda on Thursday as usual. Got home on Friday and found out I've got a brand new apartment! At least it felt that way! Refurnished and got stuff ready. Today, Sunday my little brother came and helped me get stuff up on the walls again. I hate having concrete walls... Had to drill like a bazillion holes!!
Now my living room is 50/50 living room/bedroom! And it looks kinda good! I only would like a wall between the bed and the couch... Like a folding partition in rice paper, it would fit like a glove in here!! :D
I think I made a good choice on the wallpapers! Looks really good! I'm sorry but I don't have any photos yet. I haven't had time to take any in daylight. Mum and her husband and my brothers came here today for coffee and when they left I was exhausted!!
The cats have adjusted I think and Daughter says it feels like we have moved to another place! haha! And yeah, it kinda does. It doesn't feel like a worn down apartment anymore. It's fresh and clean! And whole!! No wallpaper rolling off the walls!! haha! All I have to do now is wait for the kitchen cabinets and the benches to come, but for that I'll have to wait at least two months...
Have to get to bed now and watch "The walking dead" so I can have freaky zombie dreams again.. ;)
Oh and I love my brother for helping me out! Without him I wouldn't have made it!! <3
Pai pai!! // Teri
Monday, February 25, 2013
Ahn yeu em!!
So.. The dragons might have been lions.... But anyway...
I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick this week! I tried to go to work on Tuesday but they sent me home... I had fever!!! I wrote it last time right? I never get fever... But this time I had! I have 36,4 C° in normal, but I had 37,8 C° at the most. And I asked, that's a fever! Haha! And I felt feverish... I was sweating so bad my sheet and cover was soaking wet.... And as I said, fever is there to get rid of germs!! And it did.. I love fever! All I have now is a soar throat and a clogged nose... For the first time since I was 17 years old I was very sick! I'm always sick, but only with small colds and stuff... Not like this!!
I went home to Panda anyway this Friday. he made me a nice dinner with shrimps and rice with heart shaped candy on it! haha! So sweet panda!!
And one of my "brothers" came to sleep over. He was supposed to go to a "temple" on Saturday morning. We decided to go too. It was a room with a stage where they had put up an altar with Buddha and monks were chanting. It felt.... Weird... Since it was in Vietnamese and I don't know what they were praying for, I couldn't really pray. But it was a nice experience. And then I thought we were going home... But I forgot... They are Vietnamese... There isn't a Viet meeting that last only 2 hours... There HAD to be a show and a concert too! ;) haha! For 7 hours all I heard was "blah blah blah blah" both in talking and singing... And yeah, I was the only white girl there.. There was a white man, but he left.. haha! OK I enjoyed it a bit, but listening to "blah blah blah" for 7 hours, only getting the word "thank you" is kinda boring....
And I was really tired... But I tried to keep it up! Even thou, looking at pictures people took of me.. I look like a swollen zombie!! haha! At least this famous Viet superstar checked me out... ;) hahahaha! And I got two lucky coins!! I hope they give me luck... I need it!!
Then we went home... And I didn't get to see the movie I wanted to see... :( Men and their remotes...... But I got ice cream and chocolate! :D
And today, after I got home, me and Teddy studied a little more Vietnamese! I have realized I can't live with a Viet man without understanding a word... I will be bored to death or feel left out... Haha! I was thinking about finding a man with an easier language.. But naah, I love my little Viet Panda!! ;) <3
And this is what I have learned so far:
Xin chao!
Ten toi la Teri! Rat vui duoc gap ban! (Hard to pronounce as hell!!) Ban co khoe khong?
Cam on, toi khoe!
Tam biet!!
And of course: Vang! And just right now: Ngu ngon (not sure how to pronounce that thou..)
And what does this mean? Well... You can't know that can you?! haha! Yes you can, I will tell you.... It means;
Hello!
My name is Teri. Nice to meet you! How are you?
I'm fine, thank you!
Good bye!
Vang = Yes. And: Ngu ngon = sleep well ( I think!)
Oh and I forgot the most important words!!! Ahn yeu em!! I love you!! :)
Have to go to sleep now... Have a long day of work ahead of me tomorrow! Not fully recovered yet but I can't stay home forever!!
I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick this week! I tried to go to work on Tuesday but they sent me home... I had fever!!! I wrote it last time right? I never get fever... But this time I had! I have 36,4 C° in normal, but I had 37,8 C° at the most. And I asked, that's a fever! Haha! And I felt feverish... I was sweating so bad my sheet and cover was soaking wet.... And as I said, fever is there to get rid of germs!! And it did.. I love fever! All I have now is a soar throat and a clogged nose... For the first time since I was 17 years old I was very sick! I'm always sick, but only with small colds and stuff... Not like this!!
I went home to Panda anyway this Friday. he made me a nice dinner with shrimps and rice with heart shaped candy on it! haha! So sweet panda!!
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| Love-food! <3 |
 |
| Monks! |
Then we went home... And I didn't get to see the movie I wanted to see... :( Men and their remotes...... But I got ice cream and chocolate! :D
And today, after I got home, me and Teddy studied a little more Vietnamese! I have realized I can't live with a Viet man without understanding a word... I will be bored to death or feel left out... Haha! I was thinking about finding a man with an easier language.. But naah, I love my little Viet Panda!! ;) <3
 |
| Me and Teddy studying hard!! |
Xin chao!
Ten toi la Teri! Rat vui duoc gap ban! (Hard to pronounce as hell!!) Ban co khoe khong?
Cam on, toi khoe!
Tam biet!!
And of course: Vang! And just right now: Ngu ngon (not sure how to pronounce that thou..)
And what does this mean? Well... You can't know that can you?! haha! Yes you can, I will tell you.... It means;
Hello!
My name is Teri. Nice to meet you! How are you?
I'm fine, thank you!
Good bye!
Vang = Yes. And: Ngu ngon = sleep well ( I think!)
Oh and I forgot the most important words!!! Ahn yeu em!! I love you!! :)
Have to go to sleep now... Have a long day of work ahead of me tomorrow! Not fully recovered yet but I can't stay home forever!!
Pai pai!! XO // Teri
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The year of the snake!
Vietnamese new year was nice! At first I was very nervous, but having Mary and Hanna there made me a bit calmer because then I could talk to them and also my "brothers" were there.
The celebration was fun! I really liked the dragons performing. I forgot to take pictures of them... But I really like dragons!! hehehe! And last year was the year of the dragon, and I suppose they were "chasing away the dragon for the new coming year" or something. I don't know, cause I don't speak Vietnamese.... But it was pretty and fun! They also had competitions, like singing and modeling. And different shows from Vietnam, singing, dancing and such. And the food!!! I have no idea what I was eating!!! Haha! But it tasted good! :)
The reason I was nervous about going there is that in Vietnamese (Asian?) cultures you don't tell your parents about having a girlfriend basically until the day you are getting married or having children or wen it's getting really serious. And Asians talk... Allot! And I wanted to try not to appear as his girlfriend (even thou Mary told someone... But I think she was a friend of them all...) and I thought he was joking when he said his sister and mother was there but he DIDN'T!! Being told about to the parents is a big deal! So yeah, I was nervous... I was there as a "friend".. :) (My own choice!!)
Then we went to k-pop party. It sucked... The DJ sucked, the bar sucked, the place sucked (Looked like a prison, an old movie theater) and my head hurt and I was really tired and then my feet hurt because my shoes was killing me... I danced to the stupidly mixed music like a crazed baboon, couldn't take it serious.. Haha! The most fun I had at that party. Baboon.... And of course being with my lovely darling twin sister Liss!!! But I feel bad for making her day a bit bad, since I wasn't feeling that well... SORRY SIS!!!! <3
Partying after a week of sickness isn't the best idea I have ever had.... But at least I was sober!
Now I'm back home and I have hugged Daughter so much she is now officially sick of her mother! And now it's time for sleep. First day at "work" and kindergarten in a week tomorrow.
The celebration was fun! I really liked the dragons performing. I forgot to take pictures of them... But I really like dragons!! hehehe! And last year was the year of the dragon, and I suppose they were "chasing away the dragon for the new coming year" or something. I don't know, cause I don't speak Vietnamese.... But it was pretty and fun! They also had competitions, like singing and modeling. And different shows from Vietnam, singing, dancing and such. And the food!!! I have no idea what I was eating!!! Haha! But it tasted good! :)
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| A slightly edited photo of me at the celebrations. |
Then we went to k-pop party. It sucked... The DJ sucked, the bar sucked, the place sucked (Looked like a prison, an old movie theater) and my head hurt and I was really tired and then my feet hurt because my shoes was killing me... I danced to the stupidly mixed music like a crazed baboon, couldn't take it serious.. Haha! The most fun I had at that party. Baboon.... And of course being with my lovely darling twin sister Liss!!! But I feel bad for making her day a bit bad, since I wasn't feeling that well... SORRY SIS!!!! <3
Partying after a week of sickness isn't the best idea I have ever had.... But at least I was sober!
Now I'm back home and I have hugged Daughter so much she is now officially sick of her mother! And now it's time for sleep. First day at "work" and kindergarten in a week tomorrow.
Pai pai!! // Teri <3
Friday, February 15, 2013
Yesterday I rushed to my Panda after leaving Daughter at my mum. The subway was reeeeeeealy slow.. Stood still most of the time... Then I had to rush to buy my Valentines gift! And finally I got there!
He had bought me gifts! Not one, but 3!
I got really happy! And I hope he got as happy from my gift to him! The coziest Teddy ever! (I was thinking of buying one for my self too! haha!)
And then we had Pizza! I know, not the romantic 3 course dinner as usual, but I don't need that much as long as I know I'm loved! And gifts doesn't show love, I know, but for him do do stuff like this is love enough for me! :) Makes me happy! Had cuddle time and then fell asleep in each others.... OK.... We fell asleep like normal people on each side of the bed, with the feet tangled together.. ;) LOVE!!!
Woke up at 05.00 to go to work, but couldn't breathe, my throat was swollen, and thought; It's only one day left of this week and I have been sick all week, I can stay one more day at home... One hour later my mum called and said Daughter was coughing all night and didn't want to go to kindergarten... Just had to get up and go home... Bought half of the pharmacy and went home and my mom went to work.
I'm happy she has the best grandfather in the whole world who will still take care of her tomorrow when I'm gone to the New Years party and K-pop!
So.. Today I have to get ready! Do my nails and such.... Oh the nervousness!! It might seem like a small thing to you, but for me this is kinda big! I'd tell you why, but I don't think anyone would understand.... Maybe some other day!
Now I want to rest a bit...
He had bought me gifts! Not one, but 3!
Woke up at 05.00 to go to work, but couldn't breathe, my throat was swollen, and thought; It's only one day left of this week and I have been sick all week, I can stay one more day at home... One hour later my mum called and said Daughter was coughing all night and didn't want to go to kindergarten... Just had to get up and go home... Bought half of the pharmacy and went home and my mom went to work.
I'm happy she has the best grandfather in the whole world who will still take care of her tomorrow when I'm gone to the New Years party and K-pop!
So.. Today I have to get ready! Do my nails and such.... Oh the nervousness!! It might seem like a small thing to you, but for me this is kinda big! I'd tell you why, but I don't think anyone would understand.... Maybe some other day!
Now I want to rest a bit...
Pai pai!! //Teri
Thursday, February 14, 2013
We have been home sick all week... I went to "work" on Monday feeling a bit under the weather, and Daughter was feeling ill too, but we went anyway. Monday mornings can be a bit hard I thought... But after a while there I started to feel ill and dizzy, so I went home and got Daughter. She went to the neighbor to play for a while so I could rest. Slept for about 3 hours before they came with my new refrigerator! It's really good! Then after lunch I went back to sleep for an hour. Daughter came and said her head hurt. We both rested for a while, I fell asleep again for about 2 hours and when I woke up for dinner Daughter said again her head hurts. After dinner she had a fever...
Then we spent the next days sleeping and medicating. Today I feel better but Daughter is still coughing bad, so.. We stayed at home today too. I really wanted to go back to work.... But what can one do, sickness is something you can't ignore. I don't think I have ever slept this much as I have in these few couple of days! And I'm still tired...
The strange thing is, why don't I get a fever? I can be really sick but I never get a fever! Not even once in 10 years!! I believe fever is existing to "burn out" the bacteria. To help you get well. So why don't I get fever? Those who get fever may think I'm strange, but I want to have fever, to know there is nothing wrong with me! haha!
Today it's Valentines day! I'm going to Panda today as usual, and he said he got a present for me! Several days ago... It's been on my mind every day. "What can it be? What does it cost? What do I have to buy?" YES I feel like I have to buy things back if someone get me presents.... I'm weird... I know!
If you want to give me a present, don't tell me until you give it to me! haha! Or just give it to me....
Then we spent the next days sleeping and medicating. Today I feel better but Daughter is still coughing bad, so.. We stayed at home today too. I really wanted to go back to work.... But what can one do, sickness is something you can't ignore. I don't think I have ever slept this much as I have in these few couple of days! And I'm still tired...
The strange thing is, why don't I get a fever? I can be really sick but I never get a fever! Not even once in 10 years!! I believe fever is existing to "burn out" the bacteria. To help you get well. So why don't I get fever? Those who get fever may think I'm strange, but I want to have fever, to know there is nothing wrong with me! haha!
Today it's Valentines day! I'm going to Panda today as usual, and he said he got a present for me! Several days ago... It's been on my mind every day. "What can it be? What does it cost? What do I have to buy?" YES I feel like I have to buy things back if someone get me presents.... I'm weird... I know!
If you want to give me a present, don't tell me until you give it to me! haha! Or just give it to me....
I hope you all have a very lovingly Valentines day!!! LOTS OF LOVE to you!!!!
Pai pai// Yours truly, Teri!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Chúc mừng năm mới!
Happy new Lunar year!!! *Confetti and flags* ^_^
I wanted to celebrate new year and our 6 months anniversary with Panda yesterday (Saturday). Wanted to go shopping (Just to do something together) and then having dinner at a restaurant. But it all went bad.. He was in a bad mood because of family affairs and it got me in a bad mood and the whole day was in a bad mood... Then he said we should make dinner at home instead and we did, but ended up arguing instead of having a nice meal... We had a quick talk (After me having a temper fit!) and I think both of us got some things to think about.
I spent the night thinking and well... I still don't know what to do....
And I bought my self a new phone! I needed one and I wanted one. I bought an Xperia tipo. It was cheap and it's quite good. Now I can text ALL my friends and they can text me for free, thanks to some app I couldn't have on my old phone. It's fun with all the apps! I downloaded an app where you can learn the basics of different languages, like Vietnamese, Korean, Thai and German is the ones I downloaded! I haven't learned a bit yet.. Haha! I have such bad memory!
Oh and by the way... Panda and I made up of course! I'm amazed how he can still love me after all my temper fits! But I think (And hope) he get why I'm a bit upset... It's always on my mind, all the day every second. I know it's very selfish of me not wanting him to go... But I can't move with him even if I would love to move to Germany too! Go with him... I would love to...
Ja, ich mag Deutschland. Es ist, wo meine Familie Ursprünge sind. Ich würde gerne dort leben für eine Weile.
And I like speaking German even thou they would totally laugh at my pronunciation! xD I'm still learning!!!
This Saturday we are going to Viet new years party and k-pop as I have told before. And SHIT I'm nervous!! But happy to know at least one Swedish girl will be there too! haha! I won't be totally alone! I'm afraid people won't like me... Will treat me weird or think I'm bad for Panda in some way... I feel pressured to look good, act good and talk well. And I don't speak Vietnamese (Yet!? haha!). One week and I'm already preparing and planning. This feels like something big for me. Well not as big as meeting his parents. If that day comes... Wow, I will faint a few times a day before that! haha!
Now I will go play with my phonie!! Learning some basic Viet! haha! Yeah right.... I'll try at least.. ;)
Pai pai!! // Teri
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Xin chao!
God damn that Candy Crush Saga game on Facebook! Addictive game....
I'm such a bad girlfriend... (But I think many would do the same thing!) Not supportive at all... Just crying and screaming, "Don't leave me! I'll do anything!" But if he want to go.... He will go... And I have to let him go... But until that, I'll try to be a better girlfriend!
Apparently we are going to celebrate Vietnamese/Chinese new year the 16th of February, going to a private party full of Vietnamese people. A bit scary actually... But he almost begged me, so I have to go! haha! I have a feeling I will feel very lonely, even if there is SOME people I know there. Well he promised not to leave me alone for very long moments. ;)
And then there will be k-pop all night long. K-pop club (nonstop) in Stockholm, right after the Viet new years party!
"Dress nicely" he said... -___-' What's nice in Vietnam? haha! I have to go shopping.... And get my nails done!!! :O And dye my hair!! Wow the pressure.....
I have such a strong pain in my neck and shoulder right now I feel like crying. And I always manage to carry heavy stuff or play too rough with the children, like today, I threw one kid over my shoulder... Big mistake! I can't even carry my handbag!!! If it doesn't get better in two weeks I'll go see a doctor. Maybe...
Today I got a call from my landlord! I will get a new refrigerator and fridge and new cabinets in the kitchen!! *Yeay* Finally! I have lived here for about 7 years soon and nothing is new. I will also get new wallpapers soon, I hope! haha! I will feel even more happy when the apartment is fresh and clean. Not like now, like a dump.. Wallpapers coming off and looking hideous...
Time is ticking, I have to take my soar neck and go to sleeeeep.....
I'm such a bad girlfriend... (But I think many would do the same thing!) Not supportive at all... Just crying and screaming, "Don't leave me! I'll do anything!" But if he want to go.... He will go... And I have to let him go... But until that, I'll try to be a better girlfriend!
Apparently we are going to celebrate Vietnamese/Chinese new year the 16th of February, going to a private party full of Vietnamese people. A bit scary actually... But he almost begged me, so I have to go! haha! I have a feeling I will feel very lonely, even if there is SOME people I know there. Well he promised not to leave me alone for very long moments. ;)
And then there will be k-pop all night long. K-pop club (nonstop) in Stockholm, right after the Viet new years party!
"Dress nicely" he said... -___-' What's nice in Vietnam? haha! I have to go shopping.... And get my nails done!!! :O And dye my hair!! Wow the pressure.....
I have such a strong pain in my neck and shoulder right now I feel like crying. And I always manage to carry heavy stuff or play too rough with the children, like today, I threw one kid over my shoulder... Big mistake! I can't even carry my handbag!!! If it doesn't get better in two weeks I'll go see a doctor. Maybe...
Today I got a call from my landlord! I will get a new refrigerator and fridge and new cabinets in the kitchen!! *Yeay* Finally! I have lived here for about 7 years soon and nothing is new. I will also get new wallpapers soon, I hope! haha! I will feel even more happy when the apartment is fresh and clean. Not like now, like a dump.. Wallpapers coming off and looking hideous...
Time is ticking, I have to take my soar neck and go to sleeeeep.....
Pai pai!! //Teri
Monday, February 4, 2013
FUCK!!!!!
If you love someone, you have to let them go. Isn't it so?
Tomorrow it's been 6 months with Panda. And maybe 6 moths is all we get...? I don't want to be the one who stand in the way of someones dreams or possibilities, and I won't. But my heart is screaming "I LOVE YOU!! DON'T GO!!"
He says I don't have to cry, it's not decided yet. But it feels like he is saying nice things and doing nice things just to keep me happy until he goes. Just yesterday I told my friend "I can finally see a future with someone, a future with him." And a few weeks ago I told another friend "I'm just waiting for that bomb to drop on me. The one that always comes when I'm happy and feeling good and in love." BOOM there it is...
I have been crying so much my T-shirt is wet... I just have to process this.... IF he goes, witch means we have to break up since I can't go with him, I will never ever be able to love again. Not for a very long time. That bastard really stole my heart.... Having marriage- and pregnancy dreams (HEY! I don't want to get married or have children. But I had a dream about it!) and being happy, both in the dreams and in reality when thinking about it. It never happened before. Fuck the dude just made me laugh for real for the fist time in a very very long time! I'm happy!! And now...
I'm not going to push him to stay, I'm going to encourage him. I don't want him to stay because of my own ego. But I hope he stays, that HE decides to stay on his own. I really do... I can't deny that. I will try not to unconsciously affect him, but since I don't want him to go, I probably will in some way....
Have to try to sleep now... Have to get up early..
Tomorrow it's been 6 months with Panda. And maybe 6 moths is all we get...? I don't want to be the one who stand in the way of someones dreams or possibilities, and I won't. But my heart is screaming "I LOVE YOU!! DON'T GO!!"
He says I don't have to cry, it's not decided yet. But it feels like he is saying nice things and doing nice things just to keep me happy until he goes. Just yesterday I told my friend "I can finally see a future with someone, a future with him." And a few weeks ago I told another friend "I'm just waiting for that bomb to drop on me. The one that always comes when I'm happy and feeling good and in love." BOOM there it is...
I have been crying so much my T-shirt is wet... I just have to process this.... IF he goes, witch means we have to break up since I can't go with him, I will never ever be able to love again. Not for a very long time. That bastard really stole my heart.... Having marriage- and pregnancy dreams (HEY! I don't want to get married or have children. But I had a dream about it!) and being happy, both in the dreams and in reality when thinking about it. It never happened before. Fuck the dude just made me laugh for real for the fist time in a very very long time! I'm happy!! And now...
I'm not going to push him to stay, I'm going to encourage him. I don't want him to stay because of my own ego. But I hope he stays, that HE decides to stay on his own. I really do... I can't deny that. I will try not to unconsciously affect him, but since I don't want him to go, I probably will in some way....
Have to try to sleep now... Have to get up early..
Pai pai.... /Teri
Sunday, February 3, 2013
My 50th post!
But I can't celebrate... I can't sleep. My stomach and chest is burning with worry and my hands are shaking. Not to talk about my brain going crazy! I have trust issues again....
It's strange how one fucking lie can fuck you up so much!
Thinking back, all the memories, all the hurting, all the pain, all the anxiety... Re-living it again... It's not fun and I don't want to!!! I can't trust anyone, not even my self sometimes.... I just want to cry, but this time I won't let my self do that.
This time, if this person is willing to fight to regain my trust, I will not cry! Instead I will try. I want to trust... But... One lie makes me think "What else is there that have been lies? Is ***** lying about something else? Have ***** done something ***** is lying about?" Well you get the picture.... Just one lie does this to me.. Just ONE!! One person is lying and I can't trust anyone!!
I have serious trust issues!!!
I want to tell you about something funny that happened... Last Thursday I was at Panda's and we were fooling around and playing, wrestling and stuff, in the bed when suddenly I thought there was a child laughing somewhere in the room. Surprised to find out it was me who was laughing! It was such a long time ago hearing my own real laughter I didn't even recognize it my self! I have gotten used to this fake laughter I have, almost thinking it was my real laughter, the way it was supposed to sound now. That's why I got so surprised. Sounding like a kids laughter and I was thinking about chattering birds, made me happy! Happy by hearing my own laughter! Haha!
Maybe I am as strange as people say (Mostly in a good way!?).. Ke ke ke! ^_^
But the same night as hearing my happy laughter, I got panic attacks... I was fighting them all night... Didn't sleep much... It's strange how the mood can change so fast!
The body is a mysterious thing, the BRAIN is a mysterious thing!! I don't get my brain at all!!! Do you?
Well I have too pee real bad now... And maybe try to get some sleep anyway. At least try some more....
It's strange how one fucking lie can fuck you up so much!
Thinking back, all the memories, all the hurting, all the pain, all the anxiety... Re-living it again... It's not fun and I don't want to!!! I can't trust anyone, not even my self sometimes.... I just want to cry, but this time I won't let my self do that.
This time, if this person is willing to fight to regain my trust, I will not cry! Instead I will try. I want to trust... But... One lie makes me think "What else is there that have been lies? Is ***** lying about something else? Have ***** done something ***** is lying about?" Well you get the picture.... Just one lie does this to me.. Just ONE!! One person is lying and I can't trust anyone!!
I have serious trust issues!!!
I want to tell you about something funny that happened... Last Thursday I was at Panda's and we were fooling around and playing, wrestling and stuff, in the bed when suddenly I thought there was a child laughing somewhere in the room. Surprised to find out it was me who was laughing! It was such a long time ago hearing my own real laughter I didn't even recognize it my self! I have gotten used to this fake laughter I have, almost thinking it was my real laughter, the way it was supposed to sound now. That's why I got so surprised. Sounding like a kids laughter and I was thinking about chattering birds, made me happy! Happy by hearing my own laughter! Haha!
Maybe I am as strange as people say (Mostly in a good way!?).. Ke ke ke! ^_^
But the same night as hearing my happy laughter, I got panic attacks... I was fighting them all night... Didn't sleep much... It's strange how the mood can change so fast!
The body is a mysterious thing, the BRAIN is a mysterious thing!! I don't get my brain at all!!! Do you?
Well I have too pee real bad now... And maybe try to get some sleep anyway. At least try some more....
Paaai paaaaaaaiii!! XOxo /Teri
Sunday, January 20, 2013
My 2012, best and worst.
We have now come a few days into the new year of 2013. So I decided to make a summary of my 2012, month by month... "oh no.." I bet you are thinking, but it's only the best and the worst of every month! let's go!
January 2012.
Best: Got to work at a nice kindergarten for a while.
Worst: A barber cut my hair just before new year and it got OMG ugly and I cried for 3 weeks.... And my Cat got hurt again...
February 2012.
Best: Went to Paris to see K-pop Music Bank, 8 great bands live in concert! It was awesome!
Worst: Broke someones heart.... Stopped working...
Mars 2012.
Best: My first Fried rice (Asian party) party! Spring came...
Worst: Spring left.... Had a bad cold all month...
April 2012.
Best: Spring came back!!
Worst: My wash-dryer/hanger broke...
May 2012.
Best: Had lots of quality time with daughter and my dad turned 50! Went to Riga!
Worst: Gave up on love (Forever?)
June 2012.
Best: Midsummer with mum! Went on afternoon tea and Korean BBQ! SUMMER!! :D
Worst: Midsummer with mum and drunk uncle... ;)
July 2012.
Best: My 21st birthday again! :D Went to see my sis-Liss in Norrköping! Had more Korean food and Soju! NärCon 2012 (Convention)
Worst: What can be bad in summer? Actually nothing bad this month! :) Not for me at least! xD
August 2012.
Best: Met my dear Panda for the first time! <3 Fell in love! Went to Skansen.
Worst: Daughter got lice.... *Chills*
September 2012.
Best: Got together with my panda for real, became a couple! More Korean food with my lovely friends! Saw Nockelback live! First k-pop club i Stockholm opened!
Worst: Got a very bad depression... Got a very bad cold...
October 2012.
Best: My dear friend Elida came and I made her sushi!
Worst: It became colder, autumn... Still have a cold...
November 2012.
Best: Halloween party, started work practice, Daughter turned 5! <3
Worst: Went to the dentist.... Snow came... Still have a cold...
December 2012.
Best: Panda made fresh Vietnamese spring-rolls! WENT TO SEE BIG BANG LIVE IN LONDON!!!! :D
Worst: Loooooooots of snow and cold... Still have my cold....
This was my 2012. I hope 2013 will be even better and filled with happiness, love and money! ;)
January 2012.
Best: Got to work at a nice kindergarten for a while.
Worst: A barber cut my hair just before new year and it got OMG ugly and I cried for 3 weeks.... And my Cat got hurt again...
February 2012.
Best: Went to Paris to see K-pop Music Bank, 8 great bands live in concert! It was awesome!
Worst: Broke someones heart.... Stopped working...
Mars 2012.
Best: My first Fried rice (Asian party) party! Spring came...
Worst: Spring left.... Had a bad cold all month...
April 2012.
Best: Spring came back!!
Worst: My wash-dryer/hanger broke...
May 2012.
Best: Had lots of quality time with daughter and my dad turned 50! Went to Riga!
Worst: Gave up on love (Forever?)
June 2012.
Best: Midsummer with mum! Went on afternoon tea and Korean BBQ! SUMMER!! :D
Worst: Midsummer with mum and drunk uncle... ;)
July 2012.
Best: My 21st birthday again! :D Went to see my sis-Liss in Norrköping! Had more Korean food and Soju! NärCon 2012 (Convention)
Worst: What can be bad in summer? Actually nothing bad this month! :) Not for me at least! xD
August 2012.
Best: Met my dear Panda for the first time! <3 Fell in love! Went to Skansen.
Worst: Daughter got lice.... *Chills*
September 2012.
Best: Got together with my panda for real, became a couple! More Korean food with my lovely friends! Saw Nockelback live! First k-pop club i Stockholm opened!
Worst: Got a very bad depression... Got a very bad cold...
October 2012.
Best: My dear friend Elida came and I made her sushi!
Worst: It became colder, autumn... Still have a cold...
November 2012.
Best: Halloween party, started work practice, Daughter turned 5! <3
Worst: Went to the dentist.... Snow came... Still have a cold...
December 2012.
Best: Panda made fresh Vietnamese spring-rolls! WENT TO SEE BIG BANG LIVE IN LONDON!!!! :D
Worst: Loooooooots of snow and cold... Still have my cold....
This was my 2012. I hope 2013 will be even better and filled with happiness, love and money! ;)
Saturday, January 19, 2013
I's been a while!
I has been a whine since my last post. My desire to write has not been there. I have been thinking about it some times, but then the energy to write just wasn't there. But here I am now and I will try to update a bit more.
What have happened since the last post?
December was cold as usual. I still have my work practice and I like it very much. X-mas was celebrated two times, once with my daughter at my grandmothers and once with my mother. Daughter was at her father this Christmas. It was lonely without her. New years I spent with some friends. My Panda was away in Poland and I missed him very very much. But it was a great new years eve! The year have started good, I'm happy with it so far. Panda and I are getting closer every day and I'm happy! I have the best of friends and the greatest daughter in the whole wide world!
Today it's really really cold. Minus 23 degrees. I really don't feel like going outside. But eventually I have to. I want spring now, so that the cats can go outside. They are driving me and each other crazy!! Woke up 3 times this night because of them roaming around the house like crazy!! And of course I want spring and summer so it won't take 15 minutes just to get dressed to go outside! And so I don't have to be so cold all the time... I'm not a winter person.
OH! And I also went to see the Big Bang concert in London! OMG it was totally awesome!! And London was really nice, and warm! Felt like spring!!
What have happened since the last post?
December was cold as usual. I still have my work practice and I like it very much. X-mas was celebrated two times, once with my daughter at my grandmothers and once with my mother. Daughter was at her father this Christmas. It was lonely without her. New years I spent with some friends. My Panda was away in Poland and I missed him very very much. But it was a great new years eve! The year have started good, I'm happy with it so far. Panda and I are getting closer every day and I'm happy! I have the best of friends and the greatest daughter in the whole wide world!
Today it's really really cold. Minus 23 degrees. I really don't feel like going outside. But eventually I have to. I want spring now, so that the cats can go outside. They are driving me and each other crazy!! Woke up 3 times this night because of them roaming around the house like crazy!! And of course I want spring and summer so it won't take 15 minutes just to get dressed to go outside! And so I don't have to be so cold all the time... I'm not a winter person.
OH! And I also went to see the Big Bang concert in London! OMG it was totally awesome!! And London was really nice, and warm! Felt like spring!!
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