Romantic crap! I love that shit!!

Happy new year!
Or... New year at least.... 2014 started with a major depression. I feel better now, but still a bit depressed....

I... The one who always said that marriage is bogus, love never lasts, love is fake, love is just a mix of hormones in your body.... I have been crying over proposal videos on YouTube all afternoon!! And some wedding videos too! I... Who absolutely, definitely, never ever would get married, have already planed my wedding into the smallest detail!
From the dress (almost!) to the songs that will be played! And with who????

I don't think I will ever get the romantic fantasy wedding of my dreams..... Because Panda isn't very romantic, at all, and a bit too selfish too... ;) He would make it HIS day! haha! IF we ever get married at all....
But I can't see my self marrying anyone else.... I didn't even want to get married before I met him!!

But things go too slow... Too many things are in the way and stuff happening, minds changing, lack of money and other obstacles are in the way of us even moving in together, so marriage is out of the question, just a dream... A far far far away dream....

Moving in together is a dream too? Being happy, it's a dream too? Well, depression..... Hello again and you are not welcome back!

Now my focus will be on my studies! My goal will be to finish. 4 years of studying! FIGHTING!!

School anxiety and money!

Wednesday May 15.
My precious daughter had her first induction day at her new school! She was so nervous she had stomach pain, poor thing! :) But it was just an introduction with the teachers and kids and it went super. We spent an hour playing with the kids (My old kindergarten kids!) outside on the yard afterwards. Then we went home, made some snacks and went to the playground. Met a friend and a mother of some kids there and we spent an hour talking about horses and dogs! haha!
In the evening Daughter was very angry for no reason and she talked back to me, she have never done this before! And so I asked her if she thought if felt hard staring school and "being a big girl" and she totally collapsed.... Started crying hysterical and said she was sad cause she would miss one of  her best friends N and she was worried about maybe forgetting about her.... But N is the daughter of my cousin, and I promise they will meet at least twice a year! ;) And more! The she finally fell asleep as a happy girl.

Thursday May 16.
Got my money today! FINALLY!! Payed my bills that were late at midnight before I went to bed with an eased heart. Woke up with new energy and booked hotel for the Poland wedding. Really sheep!! 988 SEK/148 USD/ 115 Euro (About that), 3 nights and 2 persons. AND!!! We get a double bed!! :D It's close to Warsaw and the wedding ceremony. And yes Panda will pay me half of it.

Link to hotel!! It's in Swedish!

And today I finally could afford to refill my makeup stash. Feels good to be able to look good again and not like a teenager that fell in a makeup box! xD And soon I will pick up Daughter and go to the store. My poor cats have had to pee in their old pee for a week now... :( And that have resulted in peeing on my bed cover.. Again.... Just washed it 4 days ago....

And tomorrow I will get new kitchen cabinets!! Yeay!! :D

Well now I have to go! Shopping shopping!

BAAAII!!!// Teri