My 2012, best and worst.

We have now come a few days into the new year of 2013. So I decided to make a summary of my 2012, month by month... "oh no.." I bet you are thinking, but it's only the best and the worst of every month! let's go!

January 2012.
Best: Got to work at a nice kindergarten for a while.
Worst: A barber cut my hair just before new year and it got OMG ugly and I cried for 3 weeks.... And my Cat got hurt again...

February 2012.
Best: Went to Paris to see K-pop Music Bank, 8 great bands live in concert! It was awesome!
Worst: Broke someones heart.... Stopped working...

Mars 2012.
Best: My first Fried rice (Asian party) party! Spring came...
Worst: Spring left.... Had a bad cold all month...

April 2012.
Best: Spring came back!!
Worst: My wash-dryer/hanger broke...

May 2012.
Best: Had lots of quality time with daughter and my dad turned 50! Went to Riga!
Worst: Gave up on love (Forever?)

June 2012.
Best: Midsummer with mum! Went on afternoon tea and Korean BBQ! SUMMER!! :D
Worst: Midsummer with mum and drunk uncle... ;)

July 2012.
Best: My 21st birthday again! :D Went to see my sis-Liss in Norrköping! Had more Korean food and Soju! NärCon 2012 (Convention)
Worst: What can be bad in summer? Actually nothing bad this month! :) Not for me at least! xD

August 2012.
Best: Met my dear Panda for the first time! <3 Fell in love! Went to Skansen.
Worst: Daughter got lice.... *Chills*

September 2012.
Best: Got together with my panda for real, became a couple! More Korean food with my lovely friends! Saw Nockelback live! First k-pop club i Stockholm opened!
Worst: Got a very bad depression... Got a very bad cold...

October 2012.
Best: My dear friend Elida came and I made her sushi!
Worst: It became colder, autumn... Still have a cold...

November 2012.
Best: Halloween party, started work practice, Daughter turned 5! <3
Worst: Went to the dentist.... Snow came... Still have a cold...

December 2012.
Best: Panda made fresh Vietnamese spring-rolls! WENT TO SEE BIG BANG LIVE IN LONDON!!!! :D
Worst: Loooooooots of snow and cold... Still have my cold....

This was my 2012. I hope 2013 will be even better and filled with happiness, love and money! ;)

WOW! Fantastic baby!

It's kinda late and I should be sleeping. I have to get up really early tomorrow.... I don't know what to do with the test tomorrow.. I feel 55 x 2 minutes with math will kinda kill me.... I don't know ANY math.. I suck at math... I will sit and draw for 2 hours.... And no coffee... And you can't eat or drink during the test!

But I have something good to tell you!! After trying to get tickets for several hours, almost giving up, we heard they were giving a second concert on Friday 14th!! And guess who GOT TICKETS!?!?! WE DO!!! All 7 of us got tickets!! I'm so happy! And so tired of all the stress.... It feels so unreal! I am going to see Big Bang, live!! In Wembley stadium - London. I don't think I can believe it until I'm actually there. BIG BANG!!MY Big Bang! T.O.P and Daesung and G Dragon and Taeyang and Seungri... In real life! I will breath the same air as them, be in the same room as them... Wow....

It will be amazing! I heard the show is spectacular. And the live videos I have seen confirms it! Even thou we will be kinda far away from the stage it's totally worth it! Well I'm kinda old... And I have to sit anyways... ;) haha! And it's not THAT far from the stage, we will still be able to see them, I think... I don't actually know how big Wembley is, but I heard it's kinda huge!!

This is from the Singapore show! Filmed by Seungri, and yes they are also promoting Samsung Galaxy S III. Haha! But hey, where do you think they get all the money from? ;)
T.O.P's moves.. Hahahaha! I love them.. ^_^ Fantastic Baby!!

Now I have to go to bed...

Bye!

He ain't perfect, but he's worth it....

There is so much love!! Love makes me happy! And happy makes me love! Just spoke to my Panda for about 1,5 hour.... I don't know exactly cause I dropped my phone and it restarted/broke... I forgot I had the charger in (Again!) and walked away.. The phone stayed... -___-' I don't know how I can be so stupid at times.
Anyway... We haven't talked since Saturday evening. I missed his voice... And when he called today and we talked about lots of serious stuff and also laughed allot, makes he happy!

I want to tell you a bit about my Panda... If you haven't figured that out yet he is my boyfriend! <3 The first guy ever I had a relationship with that I truly trusted from the start (even thou my mind is still stupid and destroyed by other guys..). Why? My guts tell me to... And I trust my guts, they're always right!! And with him I can really be ME! He is just like me, childish and playful. And I love that! And he doesn't make much fuss about love and feelings, but the small things he does.. I totally love them! :) Even if he doesn't tell me all the time (Like I do, clingy girlfriend! haha!) I know he likes me very much! I can just feel it.. :)
And he might not be perfect, but he is worth it. The only bad thing he does to me is making me miss him for many many days.. Haha! It's hard missing people.... And I miss many....

Ad so, I would like to dedicate this song to him right now. I heard this and in an instant I thought of him!! Tray Songz - Simply Amazing. Enjoy!!

It's a really good song! :) For a love song!!! ;)
There is really only one love song that I like.. Or I love it! And that's the song I will dedicate to my one true love, THE ONE.... When I'm sure he is the one.. ;) Or she? Well you get it...

I think my cold is getting better! I had a soar throat this morning, but overall I'm feeling much better. Not as tired and more energetic. I even worked out today! First time in many months... I took it slow, 30 minutes and very simple. Since I have been sick for almost 9 weeks now and haven't worked out in a while. And I'm not fully well either.... But it was fun! Tomorrow I might go for a powerwalk and let my body "rest" for a day before I'm stepping up the workout! Every other day real workout, and rest exercise... And every other weekend, sexercise.. ;) Hahahahaha!

Wow I'm getting tired.. And hungry.... Eat something and go to bed! I have to stop with my midnight snacking. It's not good for my sleep! haha!

Pai pai!

Put random title here....

I didn't die at the dentist!! I'm actually kinda proud of my self even thou every time the door into the examination room opened adrenaline ruched through my body in fear when I was waiting outside! haha! But I found out I also have cavities in another tooth and need to fix two teeth... In 2 weeks.... Alone.... The first time in my entire life I'm going to the dentist alone.... I don't want to, so if anyone is free the 24th October you are more than welcome to follow me to Bromma!!! I'll even pay you.. Or something... Just don't let me go alone!!!!!!! Please? m(_ _)m <-- Me begging... 

And today I told my mother about my weekend (Even thou I think she reads my blog?) and she asked me: "Why are you so aggressive when you go out" (Told her about the "fight" and hard style "move people away dance") And I thought about it.... I have lots and lots of built up aggression in my body, just waiting to explode. I told a friend before: "I'm just waiting  for the day someone tries to mug/rape me so that I can kill that person and claim self defense..." And yes I am afraid of myself... Afraid that I'll explode when having my daughter close, that I'll do something bad to her, not being able to control myself. And I have nothing to take out that aggression on... Except hardcore dancing and bar fights! haha!

Wow I really like this song playing on the radio, David Guetta - Play hard. Except for the Dj MangooEuro-shit mix part... He is a stupid f*ck.... (Never EVER have sex with a DJ.. Just a tip!)

The lady with the apartment haven't answered my e-mails... Not even a single "Fuck you, I changed my mind..." Makes me sad, I was hoping a bit.... I really really NEED to move! I need to have my friends within at least a 30 min radius. And I need a job, I need people around me, even if it's a stranger on the bus or a crowd in the subway (involuntarily hugging!! <3).

My teeth feels strange... And shiny! :D I think I have to eat something, again... 3rd dinner! haha!
And if anyone would like to buy a cold with slimy coughing, golf ball thick tonsils and a runny nose you can have it for any price, just take it! You can have it for free if you want to!!

I was going to see a movie.. Where did the movie go? Well I have to put it ON right? Or maybe sleep...? No, move makes my brain sit like a child in front of a good cartoon, still and quiet... ;)

Have to go.. Pai pai!

Just have to....

I just have to write this down... Because, whatever comes to my mind...... Yeah you know.

YOU need to step up to yourself, get your shit together. Pick yourself up from the ground, stand up.. Look around you. What do you have in front of you? Who/whom is by your side always? Who/whom loves you always? What do you have to feel bad and depressed about? If you don't know what makes you happy... Then you are lost... No need for you to live anymore! Or is there? Isn't there a trillion reasons for you to keep living? Isn't there a million reasons for you to be happy? Isn't there at least one reason for you to love?
Just fucking stop it..... OK?

All i need is love... And if you give me love, I will give you everything.... Applies to everyone! I told you before.. When I love, I love 110%.... I know I shouldn't do that....
But I believe everyone deserves to be loved. And I have allot of love to give.

But I have learned that I can't give love to everyone... Yes I have been utilized, used, thrown in the garbage... Just because I wanted to love. So I learn.. I have learned not to love those who doesn't love me, show me love, are kind and nice to me, respect me and at least try to make me a bit happy...

And I love to make people happy, to help people... And yes, I have been utilized for that too.... Because I make people happy, and when they are happy, the don't need me anymore... I help people, and get nothing in return...

I know I'm not perfect... Far from perfect.... But I want to make the world around me a better place by making sure everyone that surrounds me are happy and live well...
And so I forgot myself again.... But.... If you are happy, I will be too.. I hope....
I have carefully selected those in my life, the close ones, for the way they are, their personalities, their abilities... And the way they love and care for me....
I LOVE YOU ALL!!! So deep from my heart.... <3

"All I wanted was to hear those words from you that only I could hear.

Those small whispers in my ear. 

Those three words that could change our lives forever.

I love you, please say you love me too... 

And I promise you that we will always be together, to the end of time."

I wrote this for you....