Photos! New update!

I don't know why I don't update on weekdays. Maybe it's not fun enough? ;)
I don't have anyone to tell things about since no one is reading my blog! ;)

Anywhore....
Thursday May 9.
Went to my mother for some fun-time! Daughter played with the neighbors kid and painted a picture. I did too paint some! It was fun! And we found a toad to pet and instead of a daughter I got a Ninja Turtle Jr! ;)

TMNT!! <3 ^_^

It's nice that she have the same sense of humor as the others in my family! ;)

Friday May 10.
Went into Stockholm with my little princess to see the Sakura/Cherry blossom in Kungsträdgården. She was supposed to go to my mum/grandmother and she nagged about going there instead of trying to have fun in Stockholm. But when we met up with my friend N and she got ice cream she got happy!

Me and the sakura flowers!

The most beautiful thing in the world!
The only thing I managed to do right in my life! :') <3

When I dropped of Daughter with her grandmother I went out for After Work Beer with N. It was really nice in the sun. And warm! We talked about allot of stuff, mostly about Love! I need to find him a girlfriend!! ;)

Beer with my Brother/friend! AW!

When he went away I went home to my Panda. He was away and I had to wait. I got cold and tired so I went to bed. Woke up when he jumped in front of me! haha! Had a really bad headache and he said we were to go to to his friend. I thought "Oh dear, this is going to end in a party" and boy was I right! Luckily I know him and put on some fancy clothes.

Panda also bought a new car! Audi TT something. It's like a wet boy dream.... ;) he is so proud and happy about it. I tease him about it but I'm happy for him too! It's a nice car!!

My baby's' new toy! ^_^

But we took the car to his friend and had some drinks. Well his friends and I had some drinks. Panda drove.
Then we went to town for some party. Got let in on the side by the guards like V.I.P! haha! Danced and had a fun time together!

Party!!

OH! And Panda and I got invited to his friend's and his girlfriend's WEDDING! Finally a wedding and not a funeral! The problem is... It's in Poland.... Expensive traveling.... But a wedding! Have to look for a dress! hihihihhiiiii!!! Fun fun fun hand so happy for them!!

Saturday May 11.
Went for a PW that ended up being just a walk and subway riding. ;) But it was nice in the sun and at least I had a fun time (Singing and dancing and being silly while he was complaining! haha!)
Then we spent the rest of the day sleeping, eating and cuddling in the sofa. Well we took a ride in the car for a while before we went home, made some dumplings and went to bed.

Sunday May 12.
Today Panda needed to do some work at the restaurant and we went there before I had to go home. On the subway he took sneaky pictures of me, sent them to me and wrote "You are a hag, but a very pretty hag!" HAHA! Tanks allot love... ;) In Swedish it was "Du är en kärring. Mycket snygg kärring!"

Dork!!

I look like a dork in the photo! haha! Totally lost in my phone watching the NEWS actually. About the kidnapper in Cleveland. Creepy man... Little Fritzl Jr... Haha! Naah that was mean... Fritzl was a really mean man! He looked mean!!
We got to the restaurant and he started working, preparing stuff for tomorrow when it opens again. I helped by just standing/sitting/walking around there. ;) I'm such a helper! But he still made me sushi before I had to go home!
Got home to mum and Daughter and Daughter had gotten new stuff, a jacket, shoes, Hello Kitty hair strands and shorts. So Daughter was happy! We got home and had sushi. She doesn't like sushi, but Panda made tofu- and avocado sushi for us. And she ate it!! Now I'm really tired.
I think my apartment is an energy thief.... I always get drained out of energy and get headaches whenever I get home....

Now I have to clean up some...

 Love// Teri

Oh the stupidity!!!!

I am watching "Cops" and "Speeders" on TV and it amazes me how stupid people are!

First: Why do drugs at all? And if you have to do drugs, why do you take the car and brake traffic regulations and get caught for both?
Second: Why do you try to run when you have been caught? I have never ever heard of someone getting away after getting caught! Ever! And trying to run while cuffed? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?!?!
Third: Trying to lie about not having anything on you... They will search you!
Forth: Why!?!?! WHY!?!?!?! Why do you even do things like this?

I get if you are poor and need to get money, but there is other ways.... I'm not the riches girl in the world.. But I don't steal, I don't do drugs, I don't do crime! But you know what? I fight! Not with my fists, but with my mind! My stubborn determent mind.

And "Speeders"... A bunch of teenage girls wearing no underwear, drinking beer in the car, getting pulled over and saying (Drunk as fuck): "Have I been a bad girl? Can I get a spanking instead of a ticket?" *FACEPALM* Or the ones that got away with a warning and still tries to argue about it....
 Oh the stupidity!!!!

Back to my reality....
I haven't updated in a while because I don't know what to say. In my last post I said life was all well and going forward. But as usual when I open my mouth the "shut you mouth and suffer bitch"- bomb drops on me!

But at least yesterday was a good day! The sun was shining, I was with my best friends and the love of my life (Yes he is!!) and we had a fun afternoon at the amusement park Gröna Lund in Stockholm! Me and Panda (Mostly Panda!!) are cowards and don't ride all the rides. I don't mostly because of my back and my heart.
Yeah I have a heart "problem". I have stress hormones around my heart that makes the nerves around it kick in and make the heart beat irregular and very fast/hard. Stress kills me and I'm stressed all the time....
Anyway... We had a fun time and Panda won a game slinging balls in a slingshot on a pile of cans! TWICE!! :D I'm such a proud Panda girlfriend! He got a large fabric flower with a smiley face! haha!
And this morning I didn't have to get up really early, so I could stay in bed till Panda woke up and had to go to work. We both wanted to stay in bed and cuddle. He is so cuddle friendly! haha! Soft and cozy! ^_^ Like a big baby!! hahahaha! Oh dear I love him!

And yeah my work practice is over... A bit sad, the kids are great and I will really miss them! And the personal too! I can only hope to come and work a bit now and then. And Daughter will be in that school so I will get to see them now and then! :)

Now I'm dead tired.... Have to wait for Daughter to go to bed... haha! Tomorrow she is going to a birthday party, my cousins daughter and Daughter's best friend! :) SOFA! Here I come!! ^_^

Pai!!//Teri

I heart life!

I have a great feeling about life right now! I think I have a plan of what to do with my life. Tomorrow I'm going to talk with a lady about a job during summer, I think I have decided to take the barista course in the autumn together with my bestie and then I will take another course to learn about how to become a receptionist/how to work with customer service. And if I can't get the summer job tomorrow, I will keep trying all summer. But I still have the plan for autumn! FIGHTING!!!
Finally some clarity in my life and it feels soooooooo goooooooood!!! Like a stone has dropped from my shoulders. I have never been this sure of anything.
And I'm happy in love, I have the sweetest daughter ever, the best of friends and the greatest family ever. How can I be so lucky!?  It feels too god to be true....

I want to show you some pictures. it's been a long time since the last ones.. ;)

My geisha princess with her Kimono from Japan.

3 of the best people in the world and a warm-bellied statue. 

Me today and my new YesStyle/Goodies "jacket" ^_^ 

Today Daughter and I had a nice day together. Fist we went to her swim class. She was so good. Then we went to my mothers house to have lunch. Afterwards we went to see a popular child/adult artist/singer called Sean Banan (Sean Banana). Daughter was very happy even thou we didn't see that much cause of all the people there. We also met up with her friend from daycare and her mother. We went together to a playground (Filled with snow and water!!). We talked allot while the kids were playing. It was nice, until the kids got all wet and cold and we had to get home. Now Daughter is coughing allot, I think her cold got worse. I was thinking about going home early tomorrow and stay home on Thursday so she can recover a bit. She is a fast recover.

I'm very thirsty.... And I have a headache... Drink some water and go to bed then!

PAAAAIII!!!// Teri

Duuuuuu duuuuuuu dumdumdum duuuu duuu dumdumdumd duuuuu duuu dudududuuuuuuh!

This week have been slow. Yesterday (Thursday) I went to Panda! Had a really fun evening, joking around and laughing allot! I really love being with him! :) But the time went by too fast and I fell asleep at 22.00.... I had to get up really early to go to work and when I kissed him good bye he hold me so hard. I didn't want to leave... :(
And today Daughter asked: "Why don't you two live together? I really want "Panda" to live with us"...

I  REALLY WANT IT TOO!!! But we are still fresh and we both have our reasons to stay where we are right now. He have a tiny apartment and his work is over there, so he can't move here. But I wanna......

And this week will be slow too.... One week seems like an eternity!! This Friday, next week, Daughter will be coming with me to work to meet her "to-be classmates" since her own daycare is closed. It will be fun! :D

Now we are watching Star wars! Daughter is asking every 5th second: "What are they saying? Why do they do that?" 5 year old's that don't know English probably shouldn't watch this things? ;) But she have nagged about it the whole week!
Well, I have to go to bed... Eehh.. The sofa.... ;) Live long and prosper... Or something... ;) (I know, it's not a Star wars phrase!!!)

Pai!! //Teri

Lots of love and laughter! ^_^

Lots of stuff have happened! Mostly in my mind. I have decided to take another path, to drop the childcare path and seek out another path. I think in the service business, like a receptionist, cashier or in a coffee shop. Barista would be really fun since I have this dream of mine, but I also have to be realistic. I have to think really hard now....

And I have met a "fortune teller" that also said the same thing I have been thinking about. The only thing she said that was weird was that my grandfather was the one talking to her, but she made him look like a silly man instead of the kind loving man he was. And that my grandfather said stuff I think he NEVER EVER would say, like "it will be alright", joke about stuff and most of all that my boyfriend and I will not last more than this summer, because I have "the love of my life" somewhere in the world. I think he would say something like "It you don't work for it, it will never happen", don't joke about my future and say that the most important thing is that I'm happy RIGHT NOW! Not talking about breaking up cause I MIGHT find someone in this world. She said something about finding someone that twill take my breath away, sweep my feet and such. Well, that's the feeling I had when I met Panda! And I have never loved like this before. Not even Daughters' father.... So, Go home fortune, you're drunk....

Now some funny stuff! I got my spring jacket this week! They delivered it to my work! I LOVE IT!!! :D

Buuuut of course, when I put it on more snow came... I hate Swedish weather. It's supposed to be spring now! And tomorrow the order I made exactly one month ago will come too! My skort, leggings and summer jacket! *Happy face*

This weekend I went to Panda, and yesterday (Saturday) we met up with my best friend/Soul mate/Sister and her boyfriend. First we had a latte and carrot cake in Wayne's coffee and waited for Panda to drive his parents home.

Then we took the tram out and went for a long walk from Djurgården in Stockholm into to the city. When we had to pee sis and I got into this disgusting public toilet and I scared the living crap out of both of us when we were supposed to get out. There was a little red button on the wall and I wanted to see what happened if you push it. So I told her to open the door in case we had to run! But just as I was about to push it the toilet automatically flushes and I get scared, scream and run out, sis screams and runs too without knowing why I screamed and then we laugh so much that we cried and I couldn't breath! Our boyfriends stood outside and looked like question marks wondering what the hell was wrong with us! hahaha! It was more funny to be there and live it... ;) We had a really nice day anyway, with people I love!
But in the evening I thought about the stuff the fortune teller had said and got sad. I know it's not true, I know how much I love my Panda, but I believe in this things and maybe in some way it could be true. But after hugging my Panda for a very long time and a few tears later I made up my mind. He might or might not be the love of my life, but he is the one I love right now and I love him very very much! And I want to be with him forever if I can! And when I told him what she said, he got mad! And said it's not true! I should not believe in things like that, and so on. I love him so much!! <3

On Friday my mother got home from Japan! Tomorrow we are going to have dinner with them as usual. It's going to be nice to have our old routines back! ;)

Panda and I have decided to start working out together. So when I'm there and live there for two weeks we are going to work out together! FIGHTING! :D

Now let's hope this awful snow goes away so that I can wear my nice new skort and my awesome spring jacket every day (Not the skort, but the jacket!)
And for those who don't know what a skort is: skirt + shorts = skort! ;) I really hope they fit. Asians are much smaller than I.... Haha!
And I have to say, YesStyle really is the best! Cheap and fast and when there is problems they work it out fast and politely tell you how sorry they are for causing you problems (I got 3 e-mails where they said they are sorry!!) And even compensating by bidding on the shipping fee! :D I really love them!! LOVE! I love allot.... I have a whole lotta lovin'.. ;)

Pai pai!! //Teri

Headache...

It's snowing again...... I hate Swedish winter... It never ends!!!!
I have been home for two days with a terrible headache.... On Sunday, in the middle of the night, I went up to get another pill that doesn't work and almost collapsed because of the pain. Felt like someone hit me in the neck with full force and it went black and my legs crooked for about 1 second. It was really scary! And before I fell asleep I thought "Maybe I will die and never wake up if I fall asleep now.." I was really scared!! But I woke up and I still had a headache so I stayed at home. Today it's better but I wanted to rest at home anyway in case it would get worse. I had to go out anyway to see my work-adviser and drop in some paper and get more confused  at the social insurance office... I hate all their paperwork! Gave me more headache... But now I think I'm fine actually! I hope... Just a little pain....

Dropped by a Vietnamese import store. They sell clothes and stuff both in store and on e-bay. Talked with the guy who works there, he and his wife owns the shop, for a long time. I found out this weekend his wife is a friend of my boyfriends friend! haha! So we talked about the shop and Vietnam and such. Daughter got to show off her Viet skills! "Ban có khóe không" hahaha! So cute! But he only knew one word, Ngon! It means  "tastes good" haha! So I learned another word!! :D Productive day!
Oh and this weekend I also learned to say "horse" and I laughed so hard!!!!!! Sounds like you are puking when you say it!! Ngựa... Hahahahaha! My sense of humor is extremely low.. I know...

Have to go... Take a rest and get daughter to bed... She have been very angry at me today because I "forced" her too clean her room... But I did most of the cleaning as usual and she only complained... No TV or games for a few days now....

Tam biêt!! // Teri..

My 50th post!

But I can't celebrate... I can't sleep. My stomach and chest is burning with worry and my hands are shaking. Not to talk about my brain going crazy! I have trust issues again....
It's strange how one fucking lie can fuck you up so much!

Thinking back, all the memories, all the hurting, all the pain, all the anxiety... Re-living it again... It's not fun and I don't want to!!! I can't trust anyone, not even my self sometimes.... I just want to cry, but this time I won't let my self do that.
This time, if this person is willing to fight to regain my trust, I will not cry! Instead I will try. I want to trust... But... One lie makes me think "What else is there that have been lies? Is ***** lying about something else? Have ***** done something ***** is lying about?" Well you get the picture.... Just one lie does this to me.. Just ONE!! One person is lying and I can't trust anyone!!
I have serious trust issues!!!

I want to tell you about something funny that happened... Last Thursday I was at Panda's and we were fooling around and playing, wrestling and stuff, in the bed when suddenly I thought there was a child laughing somewhere in the room. Surprised to find out it was me who was laughing! It was such a long time ago hearing my own real laughter I didn't even recognize it my self! I have gotten used to this fake laughter I have, almost thinking it was my real laughter, the way it was supposed to sound now. That's why I got so surprised. Sounding like a kids laughter and I was thinking about chattering birds, made me happy! Happy by hearing my own laughter! Haha!

Maybe I am as strange as people say (Mostly in a good way!?).. Ke ke ke! ^_^

But the same night as hearing my happy laughter, I got panic attacks... I was fighting them all night... Didn't sleep much... It's strange how the mood can change so fast!
The body is a mysterious thing, the BRAIN is a mysterious thing!! I don't get my brain at all!!! Do you?

Well I have too pee real bad now... And maybe try to get some sleep anyway. At least try some more....

Paaai paaaaaaaiii!! XOxo /Teri